Stick With The Winners

[caressa]

Many people said to me, anyone who stops using for one day, is a winner. I found that there were winners, and then there were winners. Not somone who was having a few days clean and then going back out when the money came back in. It was someone who stopped and stayed stopped. Relapse is a part of my disease not of my recovery.

I could stop in the past, but couldn't stay stopped until I came to NA. I had tried my way for eight years, and my way didn't work. The winners for me where those who were able to do what I hadn't beeen able to do for myself. Stay stopped, went to meetings and worked the Steps.

[majestyjo]

This came up in another section. I think the difference is a willingness to work the Step and apply them to their life.

Take the words off the pages of the literature and live them.

[joeykins]

The sick keeping the sick, sick.

I've struggled over being one of the cool kids being accepted and included with the cool kids has always been a fantasy. Only in recovery and working an honest program did i realize that im only chasing a fantasy just as i was in active use, and my ideal fantasy being having an orgy of hot guys, however this never happened either because i had standards and morals and values. For the same reasons i could not make my fantasy come true in active use i was not accepted into the group of the cool/ sick people because im not one of them because i place principles before personality. Because i speak of my defects as well as my issues with the program. And when i spoke of my struggle to accept it as it is rather than look for a solution someone said the sick keep the sick, sick and it wasn't until then that i realized. I don't want to be part of a group that is dishonest to the program i don't want to be part of a group that antagonizes and pretends to care and want the best for me just to turn around and exclude and isolate me. Some of which is no fault but my own and calling people out on things that go against our traditions. Weather its 13th stepping, not being honest about clean time or spiritual cleanliness. I've just been looking at it the wrong way. Its a blessing that im not part of the different groups i'm sick enough without the secrets and dishonesty of others who will only keep me sick. Most recently i reached out not in the best of ways but basically called out some of the two faced people in the rooms not name specific which set a member off yelling and screaming at me at a meeting I let the member say their piece with a mediator for my safety even though it was an outside issue. After the meeting and when i talked to my sponsor it was agreed that me and the other member we're right that sometimes something needs to be said on the matter and some will become defensive in this case yelling and screaming and blaming and in other cases people will be calm and willing to hear criticism. Some will stick with the sick and keep the sick, sick and others will say their piece suggest they talk to their sponsor and let go and let god and revisit the issue if need be. In learning the sick keep the sick, sick I've learned that that's not the group of people i want to surround myself with. And letting go because some people just are not there in their recovery. So stick with the winners and sit back and enjoy the drama unfold. The people that hold guilt and shame Will become defensive when you discuss their behaviours, They will threaten. And try and intimidate you where if you keep everything calm cool and collected it angers them even more because they have to look at their self even more especially when your side of the street is clean. They can't attack you. If you're working and honest program because everything's already put out on the table. There are no dirty little secrets. So it's funny. When you're able to sit back relax and become spiritual. And redirect them to their sponsor to deal with what they're feeling. This comes from my experience with one girl. That I never got along with. Didn't like how I was trying to support her and be there for her. However She took that as an insult. And took it upon herself to react. And as of a couple of weeks ago, I was at a meeting for my recovery. And I kept my distance from her and she approached me actually came at me and another member had to get in between her in myself because she was going to physically harm me. When you stick with the winners? We don't see these problems persist and you'll notice the little Clicks in the room. It's the sick that reject the winners. It is the sick that keep the sick sick. It is the sick that have secrets. And get mad when Their secrets get out. And they Don't know how to deal with that because they're not there and their program yet. My sponsor has nearly 30 years. And she's really teaching me patience. I have ADHD. And some days are harder than others because she's older and she walks with a walker and things are done so much slower and her mind isn't the way that it used to be. That happens with age. We're just like in addiction. I like things to happen. Now. Let's get it done. So my sponsor has been teaching me patience patience with her patients with you know, my mom the elderly newcomers or people that have been in the program sometime, but they can't get a sustainable amount of clean time. Just patience for people Anyways, that's my post of the day.