Using Dream

[caressa]

Just woke up from a nap after being woke up by my chiropractor's office to say my orthonics were in. I crawled back into bed instead of getting up and had the following dream.

I was back up north in Coldwater, sitting in a car with two fellows whose names I do not know. One gave me a big kiss on the cheek and wished me well and I crossed the street to a building wondering if there is anyone there who could me into the Legion. I walked into the building which is changed because the door leads right into the Legion and as I hear a voice, it sounds like my ex-husbands, and I turn looking for the bartender (who died years ago from his own disease) at least that is my excuse for being there, wanting to wish him a Happy New Year. I ended up in a room that is cafeteria style and has all kinds of sweets and tempting goodies on display. A different layout from the Legion at home - the top floor had a hall for catering.

This week I had intended to go to a noon AA meeting and didn't go. I missed my regular Al-Anon home group, and last night I made a butterscotch sauce to go on a couple of energy bars which I thought were Christmas Pudding when I bought them in Denninger's.

It is a while since I had one. They are a good indicator of being on shaky ground. Back to some basics for me although the only thing I really haven't done is go to many meetings as I went to a NA meeting on New Year's day. Certainly a situation I need to turn over to my Higher Power. I know the depression is there. He is the only one who can help me get out of it.

[caressa]

Was just thinking, perhaps I should have gone to the doctor's office yesterday instead of postponing my appointment until next Tuesday.

Don't want a pill to take it away, I am a firm believer in the 12 Steps. They have worked for me before and will do so again.

Have had these dreams before and they are a good warning sign that I am putting myself in danger. Often it is something I am not doing, or like now am going through an emotional time. Using was how I dealt with emotions in the past. Which makes it harder, I can't use food or cigarettes now either.

[caressa]

Got a call from my friend and we decided we both need a meeting and she is picking me up to go to the Women's Group where we were both members in early recovery.

[majestyjo]

Can't go to a meeting during pandemic, but we can always pick up the phone and connect with a friend and/or attend a Zoom meeting.

Today I had a very strong desire for a cigarette. it would probably kill me faster than any booze I chose to pick up.

Just for today, I choose not to use people, places, or things.