Post by caressa on Jan 12, 2010 4:32:23 GMT -5
We have recognized our self-centeredness as addicts and codependents. On the other side is the feeling of peace and well being when we are released from it. Self-centeredness caused us to take everything personally. We were hypersensitive to our surroundings, to other people, and to how they reacted. Yet, so often these things had very little to do with us. God sends rain for the just and the unjust.
Touchstones - Meditations for Men
Ego - Easing God Out!
So many times in the past, I felt that God was out to get me and that anything that happened to me was my fault and I took on the burdens of the world and the people around me. It was all about me! How could He/they do this to me. I am so hard done by! Everything was a trial and a test. Today, I don't think my God tests me. I think it is the other way and it is me testing my God. "So you say you can do this. Okay, let's see if you can handle this one, and I start the bargaining process which is a part of grief and loss. The biggest loss is self. I lost me and yet if I let go of the ego, I find myself through my Higher Power.
Life happens. It isn't about me. It doesn't revolve around me and my wants and wishes. As I have said before, when an acquaintance on the elevator said, "Why me?" after bemoaning everything that had happened to him. I looked at him and said, "Why not you?" It just came out and I felt bad about saying it, but I had had the same thing said to me shortly before this meeting. He looked at me, "Shocked, a bit startled, and surprised because we use to live in the apartment building in another senior complex and he moved here before me. He looked at me, and then he started to laugh. He said, "You are right! Why not me!" This same man has been inviting me up for a drink and to see his cat for about five years. I tell him I am allergic to drink and cats and yet he still keeps inviting. I am allergic to his cigarettes too!
Just for today, I choose not to use.
www.hazelden.org/web/public/thought.view?catId=1902
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.