Detach with Love

[caressa]

Yesterday I phoned my son. He told me that all was well. it is a truly an answer to prayer that he is there and that he has chosen to stay. How time has gone by. Three weeks when he was using was an eternity. The time as flown by since he has gone.

"When I came in, they told me, "Let us love you until you can learn to love yourself."

It is my wish that my son received the blessing I received when i came into recovery. I pray that he will be open to the love of the fellowship and the house that he is in.

The change for me is that I haven't been phoning every day. I will not be running up to where he is to see him and will give him the space to find his own way. I just have to let him know that I love him, I support him in all his endeavors, and I pray for him daily.

Things are ever changing. I pray that he will continue to have the willingness to find his own path.

[SunnyGirl]

( ( ( ( Caressa ) ) ) ) you are both in my prayers.....

“Detachment is not isolation, nor should it remain focused on not enabling the
sick behavior of the past. Detachment is not a wall; it is a bridge across which
the Al-anon may begin a new approach to life and relationships generally.”
- - Courage to Change, p.22

Detaching with love allows me to set needed boundaries....
It means I have no interest in outcomes, it makes for a calm life.
If we distance ourselves from events, they can affect our lives
only peripherally, like being an observer instead of a participant.
It allows me to stay calm and patient in the middle of a storm.

How do I do this? It takes practice, practice, practice! I learn
and grow by using the tool's of recovery and detachment is
my safety net, it allows me to keep the focus on myself and
not what my addicted loved one is doing or not doing.....

Peace on the journey, SunnyGirl

[caressa]

Not physically able to take a 7 hour bus trip. I remember when I was in treatment, we were encourage to focus on ourselves. We couldn't make a phone call for two weeks. I am hoping he will get an e-mail address and we can connect that way.

[SunnyGirl]

Mornin Caressa,

If you don't get an email addy, there is always snail mail.
Maybe you can send him a few stamps in a card just to
let him know he's missed and you're thinking good thoughts
about him.... Just hearing the voice would be a good thing!

Peace on the journey, SunnyGirl

[caressa]

Already suggested that and he vetoed it! He said, "You know I don't like writing Mom and I already have to journal, write this and that and there is no way I want to write more!

He does have free access to the library but life is structured and doesn't have much time. When it is good for him, it will happen. If not, that is okay too. I have free minutes each month to talk on the phone.

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