Self-Abuse

[caressa]

...have old habits, patterns, and practices that need to be removed and replaced.

Let go of the fears that keep you from growing -- The truth will set us free but it often makes us miserable first. The fear of what we might discover if we honestly faced our character defects keeps us living in the prison of denial. Only as God is allowed to shine the light of his truth on our faults, failures, and hang-ups can we begin to work on them. This is why you cannot grow without a humble, teachable attitude.

Stop basing your identity around your 'defects' -- We say, "It's just like me to be ..." and "It's just the way I am." The unconscious worry is that if I let go of my habit, my hurt, or my hang-up, who will I be? This fear can definitely slow down your growth.

- Rick Warren

This spoke volumns to me. I can still go there although the nice thing in today is that I can recognize it when it happens and I have recovery tools to change it around.

Looking at my book and seeing the postive and the negative and identifying instead of comparing helped me.

The Little Giant Encyclopedia of the Zodiac - The Diagram Group

It helped me to see the growth as well as the area that still needed work on. It also allowed me to find the goodness there that I had trouble recognizing when I was doing my Fourth Step.

Attachments:

[caressa]

Today, I was made aware of how often we hurt ourselves on the outside because it seems to relieve the pressure of the pain inside. I was in denial about this when I saw the first person who was a cutter and thought, well, I don't do that. Only to realize that I use to scratch any pimple or sore I had and wouldn't let it heal.

Many people do it with tattoos, body piercing, cutting and slashing, verbal abuse to ourselves, always running ourselves down, putting ourselves in situations that we know deep down that aren't good for us. We know things are not right deep down but it seems to be the lesser of two evils and a temporary fix seems so much easier than the solution.

A lot of my pain started in my childhood. It was something I was use to so when I found it in situations in life as I grew up, it was familiar, comfortable, and thought it was normal, not knowing that I was deserving of love, respect, self-worth and esteem. I could only see the ugliness through my own eyes and it was a very dark picture. I had to open up and let the darkness out so the Light could shine and allow the healing to take place.

Me alone with me was bad company. Everything was so big, so overwhelming, that I figured that I would never be able to bring things down to size and be able to face it. I didn't have to do it alone. Others had been where I had been. They may have not walked in my shoes, but they had traveled a similar road, and in some cases, wore the same style and color.

[SunnyGirl]

Sometimes we set ourselves up for failure....

Chronic unhappiness can become a way of life, it almost takes
on a life of its own. If I memorize the laundry list and dwell
on the characteristics that make me ACOA this alone would
cause me agony and could be considered self-abuse.

“If it's never our fault, we can't take responsibility for it.
If we can't take responsibility for it, we'll always be its victim.”
- - Richard Bach

I choose to put the focus on the Bill of Rights for ACOA.....
I choose to look on life with gratitude and accept the things
I can not change.....
Today I choose to no longer be the victim..... Hugs, SG

[caressa]

Found that I was more inclined to sabatoge myself. Couldn't stand success any more than I could failure.

No one did more to me than me. I have always been my own worst enemy although I am gettng better, I can still put up blocks out of fear until such a time as I can turn it around and find the faith to change.

Cutting and causing ourselves pain is just as much as an addiction as having an eating disorder, being a shopaholic, a codependent, or a drug user.

People say, "Stop it! Don't do that to yourself." They just don't realize that the person is just as powerless over self-abuse as they are to alcoholism, it is an addiction.

"I don't know the motives or circumstances that cause another's behavior. I do know that when I hold onto resentment and blame, I occupy my spirit with bitterness. Today, I will find a more nurturing way to fill myself up. - Courage to Change.


You can't hold a man down wihout staying down with him."

- Booker T. Washington

This spoke volumns to me because one of my biggest defects is justification to myself and to others.

I am not an insensitive person, but at times I hve justified insensitive behavior by claiming to be right. I can respect another's right to make his or her own choices, even when I strongly disagree. My relationships will improve if I can love myself enough to let other people be themselves.

- Courage to Change

"Lord when we are wrong, make us willing to change. And when we are right, make us easy to live with."

- Peter Marshall

[SunnyGirl]

"Lord when we are wrong, make us willing to change.
And when we are right, make us easy to live with."

- Peter Marshall

This is one of my favorite sayings and so true!

Guess this means I can't sing my, "I was right - you were wrong"
song any more... Peace on the journey, SunnyGirl

[caressa]

LOL! My favorite swan song was, "It's hard to be humble when you are perfect in every way!"

[caressa222]

We thik we are hurting ourselves. Not true.
There are many who love and care fot useven we can't love ourselves. Those same people loved me back to good health.