Post by caressa on Feb 19, 2010 12:15:40 GMT -5
My whole life was fear based. All my decision were fear based. Recovery was about learning to identify those fear, letting them go and replacing them with faith.
Turning the self-centered woman, who was always reaching out for things outside of herself to make herself feel better. Not knowing she was a Soul In Need and that every time she got needy, she got greedy.
She didn't know that it was a Spiritual inward journey to find herself, to connect with a Higher Power and learn to conquor that fear, only to find that many things were underlying and it wasn't a one dimensional thing and that recovery was a journey, not a destination.
FEAR - Face everything and recovery
FEAR - Flee everything and run
I am given freedom of choice. Fear and faith can't occupy the same space. Some fears are healthy, fear of going back drinking kept me coming back to the rooms until I could find some answers.
Unknown fears kept me sick, because I didn't want to take a Step until I did know until I could take that leap of faith.
There were many kinds of fears. Fear of saying the wrong thing. Fear of doing the wrong thing. Fear of rejection, abandonment, failure, success, love and intimacy, and the list goes on and on....
Fear and phobias which for me were walking over bridges and grates, crowds, thunderstorms, and one of the biggest fears of all, 'that you wouldn't like me' and I would put up barriers and walls and wear masks and play roles and I got to believe those false images of me and every time I picked up, I gave away a piece of piece and when I found recovery, I didn't know who I was. I was afraid of me!
Thank God the people in recovery loved me back to good health.
My sponsor use to tell me that every time I doubt myself, I was doubting God.
The saying I heard was they can't occupy the same space. Perhaps if a feeling doesn't take up our whole being, but just creeps in once in a while, we dont' realize that our actions have been a lack of faith but one of fear, and then we need to turn it over and ask for your Higher Power's help.
I also think it depends on the kind of fear. The same with anger. My whole life prior to recovery was anger and yet it masked so many other issues that I didn't recognize because the anger was so encompassing. Today I can get angry, and yet it is about expressing it, dealing with it, and being able to let it go. It is my understanding, that until I druly feel and recognize it for what it is, I can't let go. Just saying, "I am letting go" hasn't always done the job. Like all things it is a process, a real piece of work and a lot of God's Grace.
Turning the self-centered woman, who was always reaching out for things outside of herself to make herself feel better. Not knowing she was a Soul In Need and that every time she got needy, she got greedy.
She didn't know that it was a Spiritual inward journey to find herself, to connect with a Higher Power and learn to conquor that fear, only to find that many things were underlying and it wasn't a one dimensional thing and that recovery was a journey, not a destination.
FEAR - Face everything and recovery
FEAR - Flee everything and run
I am given freedom of choice. Fear and faith can't occupy the same space. Some fears are healthy, fear of going back drinking kept me coming back to the rooms until I could find some answers.
Unknown fears kept me sick, because I didn't want to take a Step until I did know until I could take that leap of faith.
There were many kinds of fears. Fear of saying the wrong thing. Fear of doing the wrong thing. Fear of rejection, abandonment, failure, success, love and intimacy, and the list goes on and on....
Fear and phobias which for me were walking over bridges and grates, crowds, thunderstorms, and one of the biggest fears of all, 'that you wouldn't like me' and I would put up barriers and walls and wear masks and play roles and I got to believe those false images of me and every time I picked up, I gave away a piece of piece and when I found recovery, I didn't know who I was. I was afraid of me!
Thank God the people in recovery loved me back to good health.
My sponsor use to tell me that every time I doubt myself, I was doubting God.
The saying I heard was they can't occupy the same space. Perhaps if a feeling doesn't take up our whole being, but just creeps in once in a while, we dont' realize that our actions have been a lack of faith but one of fear, and then we need to turn it over and ask for your Higher Power's help.
I also think it depends on the kind of fear. The same with anger. My whole life prior to recovery was anger and yet it masked so many other issues that I didn't recognize because the anger was so encompassing. Today I can get angry, and yet it is about expressing it, dealing with it, and being able to let it go. It is my understanding, that until I druly feel and recognize it for what it is, I can't let go. Just saying, "I am letting go" hasn't always done the job. Like all things it is a process, a real piece of work and a lot of God's Grace.
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.