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Post by caressa on Apr 13, 2010 7:37:04 GMT -5
Sorry if this is a duplicate. A reminder of Lois's story to be shown on TV. Without her and Bill's efforts we wouldn't be here.
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Post by caressa on Apr 13, 2010 15:30:15 GMT -5
The title of this movie gave me food for thought today. How true it was in my own life, not only in my relationships but towards myself. I was always looking for love from the other person because I could not find it within myself. I felt like I needed the other person to make me whole and complete.
So many of my relationships where so needy, and as I have said before, when I get needy, I get greedy. I put so many expectations on others with no thought as to whether they were capable of meeting them or even understanding them when often I didn't know myself what it was I needed. All I knew was 'more' and it never seemed to be enough.
Thank God for the healing of this program.
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Post by caressa on Apr 16, 2010 12:47:25 GMT -5
Read Each One Carefully and Think About It a Second or Two
1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you..
2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.
3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
4.. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.
5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.
6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.
12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.
13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you! least expect them to.
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Post by DJgrrl on Jul 18, 2010 21:52:10 GMT -5
That was wonderful. I really needed to read that. i was feelign down tonight and loenly. I ahven't been to my regular face to face meeting for many months. A dear friend of that group passed away last year very suddenly. I fell into a deep deep depression. I am angry and so tried of people dying opn "me" . Yes.. I seem to take it personally. I am already in a vulnerable position wtih health issues and on a disablity pension. Things seem to really tumble for me after taht and some other issues that happened. Aslo i ahev been trying to look for a job and working with the employment agency was not a good experience. I felt so triggered and put down instead of receivign the love and patince and guidnace I needed. I did meet one counsellor who was wonderful and pointed out I had a lot of experince and did nto think i needed more education . What I do see is how I have been "there" for a lot of people in program but unfortunately I expected them to be "there for me". i often travelled out of town to meetings. It was great when I could do it. But then I hit troubled waters and felt very isolated and alone. I did suggest to one person from out of town that htey could come to me. I also am feelign very sad.. that only 2 people from otu of town called me and that was to do service work. iw as able to becasue of car problems and money. i would often travel on my own to meetings. After reading the bulletin here.. I also realize that the meetign in my area did not have much fellowship or connection wtih each other out side of the meetings. Except for certian cliques. I am gratedul that I was able to make a mroning meeting last week. I met someone new to the area and we had fellowshp after. I am in a lot of fear regarding my finanacial situaon. I don't have much gas nad my food cupboard is low. I spent $230 to get my car fixed but now I am in a worse postion. oh god.. i feel like i have gone back to beign sick again. I have been takign extra money out on my credit card. ( And they have been givign it to me. Man.. banks and financial companies are so co dependant in this game. it is like delaing with an alcoholic. !! ) Anyway.. i ahev 20 for 2 weeks. I went to the food bank twice and it was a horrible experience. The people there seemed so sad. It drained my energy. I pray for those who volunteer there. I aslo pray I can let go of the shame if i have the courage to go again. Alo the courage to go to my church for a food voucher. I am sad and afraid that I will be judged and there will be gossip. I spent a lot of money and made choices to look after my health. Unfortunately it left me in not a good palce.. and my siblings will be sure to remind me of that. I do ahve to remember that I choose this route becasue of pain. I was in so much pain. I was certain to be addicted to pain killers. I spent money on natural health and meetings and books and a lifestyle change. I have slipped though. The great sadness and unexpected death of my Alanon friend and her husband leaving only weeks after that to return to his home country. I felt like I had 2 losses. One in Alanon and one in AA. I also ave not had return calls from other friends in my programs who knew them. I feel angry angry angry. from thsi elson I am going to remember that sometimes the msot vulnerable people are those who are not at meetings.. for amn reasons. Grateful that I have been using phone meetings and internet. But I miss the voice contact and face to face with the friends and family I knew. Anyway.. i need to go to a job placement palce tomorrow. and see about getting a resume together. I need to focus on getting soem money and not be in the anger and what others are not doing. I have the option to go abck to school if I can get focused on that task.. or I could apply for jobs that are simple.. liek cashiers. I also have a license for a trade but do not have the money to renew it. It will be so great to get even a aprt time job to help me
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Post by caressa on Jul 19, 2010 0:43:39 GMT -5
Thank you for sharing. Sounds like you are going through a rough time.
Perhaps you should look at celebrating your friend's life and know that she is in a better place. I firmly believe the spirit lives on and that she is with you.
Anger is harmful to you. It doesn't hurt the other person, especially when they are gone. Take care of you. Sadness and anger, and it sounds like you might have some bargaining in there too, are all parts of the grieving process. What you are feeling is normal. You just need to talk to your sponsor about your feelings and what you are going through. Every time we go through a change in our life, we go through a grieving process. So it isn't just your friend's passing, but your health and loss of friends and routine because of your car.
Keeping coming to the boards, you are welcome to share here. As you say, f2f is good. Even though you can't get out of town, perhaps you should go to the one close, not for the other members whether they are clique or not, but for you.
I generally only go to my one meeting a week. I too am disabled and don't get out much, certainly not at night. My meetings is at noon. When I am able, I go to an AA meeting on Tuesdays, if I can't go to my meeting one Wednesday, which is at noon too.
With my walker, I don't feel safe going out at night. It is better in the summer, because of the time change. I have learned that isolation is part of my disease not part of my recovery. I picked up the phone today to call my old sponsor because my sponsor is busy with visiting family.
For me, it is doing what ever it takes. Hope you are able to get your finance back in order. Hope all goes well with your job placement.
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Post by SunnyGirl on Jul 19, 2010 13:24:38 GMT -5
So good to see you posting your thoughts DJgrrl....
I'm so sorry for your loss, losing a loved one or friend is so difficult, but I have to agree with Caressa, think of the wonderful times you had with her and remember the friendship with happiness not sorrow.
There is so much going on in your life, times are rough for you right now. But, don't forget to look for the blessings you have all around you. It's not easy but when life hands you lemons, you need to remember if you add a little sugar and water you'll have lemonade.
My first thought's as I read your post were pushed aside as I was saying the Serenity Prayer.... God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Stay in today and try to make the most out of everything you have to face.... Just tackle them one by one...
I wish you peace and happiness in your life! You are in my thought and prayers..... Just keep coming back DJ, always someone around to listen and share their thoughts.
Sending healing hugs and good thoughts, SunnyGirl
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Post by DJgrrl on Jul 23, 2010 23:30:24 GMT -5
Hi Freinds.. thanks for the replies..and prayers. I went back to my face to face where my firend attended this week. I had one person come and give me a hug..and that was it. No one else even said Hi or glad to see you. I was sad. It was realyl weird. it seemed like afew people were even bowing their heads. Another ran to the door to greet those who came in. Since I wsas last there another local meeting has folded. We are down to 2 meetings. More young people coming in and the older retired ones still seem to be there. I was glad I went. A woman who use to come is coming mroe often. She left her husband is is now living with her A sister. I recall calling her once when I ahdn't seen her in some time. Unfortauntely I elft a emssage with a slogan and she wasn't happy about that. I was perfect but showed I cared. I also offered to go to open AA meetigns with a newcomer who was intered. Gave her my phone number. I was there to give not to get. Must remember. I sem to be going in with sibling issues lately. Maybe it's tiem to work on that.
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Post by majestyjo on Nov 20, 2014 21:07:57 GMT -5
Worth a re-read. When Love Is Not Enough Read Each One Carefully and Think About It a Second or Two 1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.. 2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry. 3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. 4.. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart. 5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them. 6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile. 7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world. 8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you. 9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful. 10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened. 11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around. 12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you. 13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you! least expect them to.
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