Behavioral Addictions

[SunnyGirl]

Behavioral Addictions

I am having a difficult time wrapping my head around the
idea of "bad behavior" addictions, being equated to drug
and alcohol addictions. There will always be some people
who are looking for a quick fix when facing problems in their
lives, looking for the softer or easy way to soothe their troubled
souls. Some turn to eating, sex addictions, internet, gambling,
to many to list, but the physical addiction isn't there....
Just the "stinkin thinkin" part of the addiction!

I am a firm believer that the 12-step programs can and will
help anyone with "thinking problems". Virtually everyone has
bad habbits! But, when you continue to act on them they become
routine, you get obsessed with it and it start tos unravel or the
a snowball effect when the habit keeps spiraling down hill out
of control.

I live in Vegas and know about gambling addictions.... I love
to gamble and win, it's such a wonderful feeling! BUT, I am
a sore loser, I HATE to lose! Didn't take me all that long to
figure out that the low's of pi$$ing my money away happened
far more often than winning, so letting go was pretty darned
easy. People don't become addicted to eating celery because
it doesn't make them feel better, there's no payoff. People do
not do things if there's no reward in it, unless they feel better
after it's all done. Like video games, it's fun. What's fun? A feeling.

Sometimes we just have to exercise control of our lives......
In my case, codependency, I felt like it was my duty to fix
my addicted loved ones and had to realize "I can't, God can,
I'm going to let HIM".....
As a child, I would get easily frustrated when I tried to do
something new, I'd usually begin to cry and say "I can't do it".
My Grandmother would always reply, "don't say I can't, say
I'll try"...... The more you try to quit bad habits the better
success you'll have and there are 12-steps that will take you
exactly where you want to go! Just fill in the blank!
Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over _____ that our
lives have become unmanageable.

What are your thoughts on "Behavioral Addictions", are they
addictions, or bad habits that we enjoy?

Please share your thoughts.....

Peace on the journey, SunnyGirl

[caressa]

A good question! My first thought was they were behaviors that developed as a result of my addiction(s). My love for attention, for validation and approval, my people pleasing, my looking for someone to love me and willing to go to any length to receive that love. A lot stemmed from my need to get comfort or a high and what I needed to do to attain it and maintain it.

Behaviors can be changed. Behaviors can be modified. Behaviors can no longer stand me in good stead and have to be revised to fit my life in today. Behaviors are often as a result of my action to others, which becomes my issue not theirs.

Again, when I see the contol word, I think "if I have to control it, it is out of control." For me, the only way it can be controld is by surrendering it and asking my Higher Power for help. Control for me is an illusion. An example of this is me buying myself a treat. I tell myself I will have it a piece at a time. I have it a piece at a time but the problem is, it generally ends up being two pieces. As much as I give myself a talking to and tell myself I shouldn't eat it all at once or I shouldn't buy it at all, it ends up in my fridge. Until I find the willingness, to turn it completely over and ask my HP to take away the craving and the need, it isn't going to happen if I am truly honest with myself. I am telling tales on myself so perhaps, this will be the beginning of the first step on this matter.

I went today to check my Lottario ticket, I thought it was last night and it told me results were not available. The ticket is for tonight. A woman came to stand beside my and said, "I like those, I spend $20, sometimes I win but most times I lose." She was referring to Nevada Tickets. I told her that I allowed myself $3. and if I win I win, if I don't I don't. She said, "Lucky you!" There really isn't a difference, no matter what we spend, we still have the desire to buy. My $3. is a result of asking my Higher Power for help because they were out of control. I no longer buy every day and there are days that I can walk by them and not buy any, that in itself is a miracle from where I was before.

I choose not to spend any more than I can afford to lose.

[SunnyGirl]

thank you for sharing Caressa.....


I believe "obsession" would be the more appropriate term,
coffee, chocolate, hoarding, sex, food, etc. etc....all can be
classified as obsession (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder OCD)
or maybe "addictive personalities". I see it as less a disease as
a mental disorder that might be helped by the 12-steps or
cognitive behavioral therapy.

Discipline: To discipline a child is to teach him how
to be well behaved; show him right from wrong; build
his self-confidence and his respect for others; and teach
him the self-control and self-discipline that can help him
grow into the sort of person you want him to be.

Once upon a time self-discipline was taught to children at a
very young age, wonder what happened? Bad or unacceptable
behavior shouldn't be accepted by parents or loved ones...
thank goodness for setting boundaries. I can't fix anyone but
me and I will watch out for obsessive or addictive behaviors that
I might have and work on changing them ODAT.....

Peace on the journey, SG

[caressa]

Is it an addiction, a bad habit, a behaviour pattern, or all of the above?

Again, it isn't the substance that is the problem. An addiction is a mental obsession and an allergy to the body, mind and spirit, we do not metabolize or think the way, most people do. The chemical imbalance is different between different people, but it isn't the substance that causes it, I firmly believe a lot of it is in our genes and we are more often than not, products of our environment. We don't have to take on other people's stuff, but we often do without realizing it. Just another aspect of our dis-ease.