Change

[SunnyGirl]

May 17, 2010

"Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll
understand what little chance you have in trying to
change others." - - Jacob M. Braude

Change has never come easy to me! Thank goodness
Nar-Anon tells us it's progress, not perfection, this is our
goal in this recovery program. I have learned if I can do
my best, one day at a time, the change will begin. It
may be 3 steps forward and 2 back, but had I not taken
those steps I would have no progress.

I am not now, nor will I ever be perfect in this lifetime. My
goal is to work an honest program and try a little harder on
my defects of character and focus on what's working and
what's not. Many defects have been there so long I
no longer consider it a defect, but with my Higher Power's
healing hand and hard work, I can make changes that will
help me grow and learn.

"Nothing changes if nothing changes" and I don't want to
remain in the cocoon, I want to become the butterfly....
I want to become the best person I can be! ODAT

Peace on the journey, SunnyGirl

[caressa]

On the whole, I embrace change although I can honestly say, I haven't been there too often lately. I do not like the change in my life and though I don't like it, I know I have to accept it. What I needed to change was my attitude towards it. What I am having problems with is taking the action. I have been put on hold waiting for other people's decisions.

Today is a good example. I don't like sleeping the day away. I had no desire to go anywhere todayand the only goal I had was to contact my doctor's office. I have tried three times to call and there is no answer. I handed in paper work to get some assistance for a heavy clean for my apartment and I am awaiting to hear if my applicaiton has been accepted. In the past, my son did it for me. It took me a long time to surrender and ask for the help. Now I find myself putting expectations on them even though I know things have to go through the system and a certain amount of fear that it will be rejected.

I slept for 9 hours the other day and woke up at 1:30 a.m. Sunday morning. I ddn't get to sleep today until 8 a.m. this morning. I woke up at 3 p.m. this afternoon. Going without sleep for 30 hours is not acceptable and I need to find away to bring things back into balance. If my new medication doesn't help me to go to bed and night and get up in the morning, it is wrong for me. Life is about balance as well as acceptance.

[SunnyGirl]

thank you for sharing Caressa....

You are in my prayers, I know you have a lot on your
plate, I can only imagine how tough it must be for you.

My hubby sometimes has trouble sleeping.... Now when
he nods off in his recliner I'll poke him one! I am a firm
believer that naps in the daytime, rob you of your normal
sleep pattern. Accepting the things we can not change...
and wisdom to know the difference!

Peace on the journey, SunnyGirl

[caressa]

Was thinking of how many hours of sleep I lost over worrying over other people and their stuff. Thanks to the program I don't have to do that any more. What is mine is mine and if it isn't, then I had better darn well look at why I am allowing it to rent space in my head.

Before it was always about 'them' and never about me. Today, it is about me and my recovery.

Changing my eating habits. Changing my thought process. Changing my schedule to meet my needs. What use to work for so many years, quite often needs to be adapted to what is in today.

[caressa]

The change of one simple behavior can affect other behaviors and thus change many things.

—Jean Baer

Liked this quote. Reminded me of how you can start little and things can grow into something you never dreamed of or ever imagined.

Not only with yourself but for those around you. They see the change in you and it will often make them think of what they need to change within themselves.

What comes to mind is a chain link fence. It can keep things out but it can also hold things in and together.

www.hazelden.org/web/public/thought.view?catId=1920