Topic for the week: Defects of character

[SunnyGirl]

Recognizing defects of character....

When situations arise which destroy my serenity, pain often
motivates me to ask God for clarity in seeing my part in the
situation. Admitting my powerlessness, I humbly pray for
acceptance. I try to see how my character defects contribute
to the situation.
eor.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=spuds&thread=9242

For me it has been difficult trip to get to the point of "rigorous
self-honesty." Excuses are a dime a dozen.... and I'd wager
God has heard them all.

How many times have I minimized my part in a situation and
cast the blame on the other person involved. I need only to
accept my part and go about rectifying the situation. It requires
going to God with a humble attitude and asking for the strength
and wisdom to see myself through HIS eyes.

Blaming others is a huge waste of time and keeps me connected
to that person. By taking ownership I can learn from it and prevent
it from reoccurring. Clinging to blame only serves to keep you as
a perpetual victim in your life. Next time I am tempted to cast
the blame on the other person, I need to take a good long look
at myself and accept any part that I might have played in the
situation.

One day at a time.... SunnyGirl

[caressa]

Don't have a lot of clarity at the moment. Having slept my day away, it didn't leave much time for my character defects to make themselves known.

When I did the chip this morning, I had very little acceptance of what was going on with me. I know my doctor is trying to help me. He took me off of one medication and put me on another. This one isn't covered by my drug plan and I had to pay for it.

There is a part of me that says, "This has to work because I paid for it." It worked. I slept, but sleeping the day away is not good. Staying awake last night after taking it wasn't good either. Part of that was my fault, because I wasn't yawning, or feeling tired, I didn't go to bed. Perhaps what I need is a change in attitude and instead of waiting for it to tell me to go to bed I should surrender and go to bed and then perhaps I would go to sleep easier.

When I become aware of a defect of character, I immediately take it to my Higher Power. There is no way I want to continue to act out in my disease. I often pray for the willingness for the willingness to know what I need to do for my health and well being. I ask for my own knowingness and my own truth so that I can be honest about what is going on in my life.

My sponsor told me that if I was ever in doubt about my character defects, look at who I was pointing a finger at because it was a reflection of myself. A sure fired way of keeping me honest even if I don't like it.

[caressa]

Today, I am reminded of what a long-timer (25 years sober when I had a year) said, "He had 13 barrels containing each defect of character but only had 12 lids. One defect kept popping up and when he got a lid on it, a new one popped up.

[majestyjo]

Sometimes we think we have done the Steps once and that is enough. That in itself, tells me that I have character defects and that I need to take a closer look at myself and my recovery.

Twelve Step Review

Identify a situation or condition in your life that is currently a source of unmanagability

Describe the situation and indicate your concern.Use the following
questions to apply the principles of the 12 Steps to your situation.

Step One: In what ways are you powerless over what’s happening and how is this situation showing you the unmanagability of your life, or how will continuing to try to control make life more unmanageable?

Step Two: How do you see your Higher Power as helping you to restore
your sanity? You can start by looking outside your own head and your usual solutions.

Step Three: How does being willing to turn your life over to the care
of your Higher Power assist you in dealing with this?

Step Four: What character defects have surfaced? (such as survival
skills learned during using, obsessive/compulsive behaviour, rescuing, excessive responsibility, unexpressed feelings, resentment, etc.)

Step Five: Admit your wrongs (ineffective survival skills), at least to
your Higher Power and yourself. Discuss it with someone in the program
.
Step Six: Are you entirely ready to have your Higher Power remove the
character defects (ineffective survival skills) that have surfaced?

Step Seven: Can you humbly ask your Higher Power to remove your
shortcomings? If not what is your resistance? Erasing them is impossible but working towards the way you’d like to be and letting go may be effective.

Step Eight: Make a list of people being harmed.

Step Nine: What amends are necessary, and how will you make the amends?  Talk this over with someone experienced in program. Living amends, changing behaviour, is a part of this.

Step Ten: Review the above steps to be sure that nothing has been
overlooked. Check yourself daily for old survival skills and new more effective actions. Write them down.