Learning to Trust Again

[caressa]

The reading seems to say it all. It was like my previous post, looking in the mirror and what do I see?

Thought I had it, then realized I had none! Certainly not in myself and others had proved me wrong or done me wrong so many times. The walls were up and I was darned if I was going to break them down.

They had to come down in order to recover. I had to let others in and me out. I had to build a relatonship with my Higher Power. I couldn't project it all onto HIm, I had to do the action. I had to learn to trust Him and know that when the time was right, there would be change. When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. I learned to trust the process and know that I didn't have a race to run and that life was a practice field to a better way of life.


eor.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=spuds&action=display&thread=9304

[caressa]

At the meeting this week, we talked about allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, when it was safe to do so.

The key word is safe. You want to be able to put yourself out there for others to see with the hope that your words and deeds don't come back at you.

I was sharing with my sponsor tonight about all the counseling and group therapy session that I went to on my journey. The one counselor said, "You process things well, you don't need counseling, what you need is a safe place to share."

After having a lot of things go in someone ear and out their mouth, I didn't always feel comfortable about sharing certain things at meetings. I shared with my sponsor. I also found a need to share with a therapist as well. I introduced them to the Twelve Steps. I was told to stay away from psychiatrists as they tended to label you. I probably would have walked away with a couple if I had gone. Yet for me labels, are just that. Any problem or issue in my life, I apply the Steps. I have learned to trust the process.

Don't always trust the people, but do trust the process of recovery. It works when you work it. It is something you can put your trust in time and again.

[SunnyGirl]

(((((Caressa))))) thank you for sharing, truly a fine share!

Being vulnerable, pulling away from friends and isolating is a
recipe for a disaster, especially when I am feeling down it's
always a comfort to come to these meetings here at EOR.
some how... some way.... I always seem to hear just what
I needed....

Everyone needs someone to talk with.... I can share most
anything with my older sister but for my recovery you all,
are my sounding board....
always willing to listen and not judge.....
Opening up my innermost thoughts and exposing my true
feelings is a liberating feeling....
Feelings of pain and anger once they're out in the open are
much easier to let go of... I can't heal on the inside until I get
honest, and I can't heal until I allow myself to get vulnerable.
When I first started coming to the boards and our meetings,
I found it impossible to share my deepest thoughts, I was
afraid I might be judged or looked down on. Today I have
solved most all of my trust issues and know that this is a safe
place, my harbor from the storm.

Peace on the journey, SG