Just For Today - NA for August

[caressa]

August 1
Freedom From Guilt
"Our addiction enslaved us. We were prisoners of our own mind and were condemned by our own guilt."

Basic Text, p.7

Guilt is one of the most commonly encountered stumbling blocks in recovery. One of the more notorious forms of guilt is the self-loathing that results when we try to forgive ourselves but don't feel forgiven.

How can we forgive ourselves so we feel it? First, we remember that guilt and failure are not links in an unbreakable chain. Honestly sharing with a sponsor and with other addicts shows this to be true. Often the result of such sharing is a more sensible awareness of the part we ourselves have played in our affairs. Sometimes we realize that our expectations have been too high. We increase our willingness to participate in the solutions rather than dwelling on the problems.

Somewhere along the way, we discover who we really are. We usually find that we are neither the totally perfect nor the totally imperfect beings we have imagined ourselves to be. We need not live up to or down to our illusions; we need only live in reality.

Just for today: I am grateful for I disagreeets and accept my liabilities. Through willingness and humility, I am freed to progress in my recovery and achieve freedom from guilt.

pg. 223

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Practicing Honesty
"When we feel trapped or pressured, it takes great spiritual and emotional strength to be honest."

Basic Text, p.81

Many of us try to wiggle out of a difficult spot by being dishonest, only to have to humble ourselves later and tell the truth. Some of us twist our stories as a matter of course, even when we could just as easily tell the plain truth. Every time we try to avoid being honest, it backfires on us. Honesty may be uncomfortable, but the trouble we have to endure when we are dishonest is usually far worse than the discomfort of telling the truth.

Honesty is one of the fundamental principles of recovery. We apply this principle right from the beginning of our recovery when we finally admit our powerlessness and unmanageability. We continue to apply the principle of honesty each time we are faced with the option of either living in fantasy or living life on its own terms. Learning to be honest isn't always easy, especially after the covering up and deception so many of us practiced in our addiction. Our voices may shake as we test our newfound honesty. But before long, the sound of the truth coming from our own mouths settles any doubts: Honesty feels good! It's easier living the truth than living a lie.

Just for today: I will honestly embrace life, with all its pressures and demands. I will practice honesty, even when it is awkward to do so. Honesty will help, not hurt, my efforts to live clean and recover.

pg. 224

Sorry for being late, saw this at another site this morning and thought I had posted it, another senior moment.

[caressa]

August 3
Trusting People
"Many of us would have had nowhere else to go if we could not have trusted NA groups and members."

Basic Text, p.81

Trusting people is a risk. Human beings are notoriously forgetful, unreliable, and imperfect. Most of us come from backgrounds where betrayal and insensitivity among friends were common occurrences. Even our most reliable friends weren't very reliable. By the time we arrive at the doors of NA, most of us have hundreds of experiences bearing out our conviction that people are untrustworthy. Yet our recovery demands that we trust people. We are faced with this dilemma: People are not always trustworthy, yet we must trust them. How do we do that, given the evidence of our pasts?

First, we remind ourselves that the rules of active addiction don't apply in recovery. Most of our fellow members are doing their level best to live by the spiritual principles we learn in the program. Second, we remind ourselves that we aren't 100% reliable, either. We will surely disappoint someone in our lives, no matter how hard we try not to. Third, and most importantly, we realize that we need to trust our fellow members of NA. Our lives are at stake, and the only way we can stay clean is to trust these well-intentioned folks who, admittedly, aren't perfect.

Just for today: I will trust my fellow members. Though certainly not perfect, they are my best hope.

pg. 225

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August 4
When Is A Secret Not A Secret?
"Addicts tend to live secret lives.... It is a great relief to get rid of all our secrets and to share the burden of our past."

Basic Text, p.32

We've heard it said that "we're as sick as our secrets" What do we keep secret, and why?

We keep secret those things that cause us shame. We may hold onto such things because we don't want to surrender them. Yet if they're causing us shame, wouldn't we live more easily with ourselves if we were rid of them?

Some of us hold onto the things that cause us shame for another reason. It's not that we don't want to be rid of them; we just don't believe we can be rid of them. They've plagued us for so long, and we've tried so many times to rid ourselves of them, that we've stopped hoping for relief. Yet still they shame us, and still we keep them secret.

We need to remember who we are: recovering addicts. We who tried so long to keep our drug use a secret have found freedom from the obsession and compulsion to use. Though many of us enjoyed using right to the end, we sought recovery anyway. We just couldn't stand the toll our using was taking on us. When we admitted our powerlessness and sought help from others, the burden of our secret was lifted from us.

The same principle applies to whatever secrets may burden us. Yes, we're as sick as our secrets. Only when our secrets stop being secret can we begin to find relief from those things that cause us shame.

Just for today: My secrets can make me sick only as long as they stay secret. Today, I will talk with my sponsor about my secrets.

pg. 226

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August 5
The Shape Of Our Thoughts

"By shaping our thoughts with spiritual ideals, we are freed to become who we want to be."

Basic Text, p.101

Addiction shaped our thoughts in its own way. Whatever their shape may once have been, they became misshapen once our disease took full sway over our lives. Our obsession with drugs and self molded our moods, our actions, and the very shape of our lives.

Each of the spiritual ideals of our program serves to straighten out one or another of the kinks in our thinking that developed in our active addiction. Denial is counteracted by admission, secretiveness by honesty, isolation by fellowship, and despair by faith in a loving Higher Power. The spiritual ideals we find in recovery are restoring the shape of our thoughts and our lives to their natural condition.

And what is that "natural condition"? It is the condition we truly seek for ourselves, a reflection of our highest dreams. How do we know this? Because our thoughts are being shaped in recovery by the spiritual ideals we find in our developing relationship with the God we've come to understand in NA.

No longer does addiction shape our thoughts. Today, our lives are being shaped by our recovery and our Higher Power.

Just for today: I will allow spiritual ideals to shape my thoughts. In that design, I will find the shape of my own Higher Power.

pg. 227

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August 6
The Joy Within
"Since the beginning of our recovery, we have found that joy doesn't come from material things but from within ourselves."

Basic Text, p.103

Some of us came to Narcotics Anonymous impoverished by our disease. Everything we'd owned had been lost to our addiction. Once we got clean, we put all our energy into recovering our material possessions, only to feel even more dissatisfied with our lives than before.

Other members have sought to ease their emotional pain with material things. A potential date has rejected us? Let's buy something. The dog has died? Let's go to the mall. Problem is, emotional fulfillment can't be bought, not even on an easy installment plan.

There's nothing inherently wrong with material things. They can make life more convenient or more luxurious, but they can't fix us. Where, then, can true joy be found? We know; the answer is within ourselves.
When have we found joy? When we've offered ourselves in service to others, without expectation of reward. We've found true warmth in the fellowship of others-not only in NA, but in our families, our relationships, and our communities. And we've found the surest source of satisfaction in our conscious contact with our God. Inner peace, a sure sense of direction, and emotional security do not come from material things, but from within.

Just for today: True joy can't be bought. I will seek my joy in service, in fellowship, in my Higher Power-I will seek within.

pg. 228

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August 7
The Gratitude List

"We focus on anything that isn't going our way and ignore all the beauty in our lives."

Basic Text, p.77

It's easy to be grateful when everything runs smoothly. If we get a raise at work, we're grateful. If we get married, we're grateful. If someone surprises us with a nice present or an unasked favor, we're grateful. But if we get fired, divorced, or disappointed, gratitude flies out the window. We find ourselves becoming obsessed with the things that are wrong, even though everything else may be wonderful.

This is where we can use a gratitude list. We sit down with a pen and paper and list the people for whom we are grateful. We all have people who've supported us through life's upheavals. We list the spiritual assets we have attained, for we know we could never make it through our present circumstances without them. Last, but not least, we list our recovery itself. Whatever we have that we are grateful for goes on the list.

We're sure to find that we have literally hundreds of things in our lives that inspire our gratitude. Even those of us who are suffering from an illness or who have lost all material wealth will find blessings of a spiritual nature for which we can be thankful. An awakening of the spirit is the most valuable gift an addict can receive.

Just for today: I will write a list of things, both material and spiritual, for which I am grateful.

pg. 229

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August 8
Responsible Recovery

"We accept responsibility for our problems and see that we're equally responsible for our solutions."

Basic Text, p.94

Some of us, well accustomed to leaving our personal responsibilities to others, may attempt the same behavior in recovery. We quickly find out it doesn't work.

For instance, we are considering making a change in our lives, so we call our sponsor and ask what we should do. Under the guise of seeking direction, we are actually asking our sponsor to assume responsibility for making decisions about our life. Or maybe we've been short with someone at a meeting, so we ask that person's best friend to make our apologies for us. Perhaps we've imposed on a friend several times in the last month to cover our service commitment. Could it be that we've asked a friend to analyze our behavior and identify our shortcomings, rather than taking our own personal inventory?

Recovery is something that has to be worked for. It isn't going to be handed to us on a silver platter, nor can we expect our friends or our sponsor to be responsible for the work we must do ourselves. We recover by making our own decisions, doing our own service, and working our own steps. By doing it for ourselves, we receive the rewards.

Just for today: I accept responsibility for my life and my recovery.

pg. 230

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August 9
The Power Of Love

"We begin to see that God's love has been present all the time, just waiting for us to accept it."

Basic Text, p.46

God's love is the transforming power that drives our recovery. With that love, we find freedom from the hopeless, desperate cycle of using, self-hatred, and more using. With that love, we gain a sense of reason and purpose in our once purposeless lives. With that love, we are given the inner direction and strength we need to begin a new way of life: the NA way. With that love, we begin to see things differently, as if with new eyes.

As we examine our lives through the eyes of love, we make what may be a startling discovery: The loving God we've so recently come to understand has always been with us and has always loved us. We recall the times when we asked for the aid of a Higher Power and were given it. We even recall times when we didn't ask for such help, yet were given it anyway. We realize that a loving Higher Power has cared for us all along, preserving our lives till the day when we could accept that love for ourselves.

The Power of love has been with us all along. Today, we are grateful to have survived long enough to become consciously aware of that love's presence in our world and our lives. Its vitality floods our very being, guiding our recovery and showing us how to live.

Just for today: I accept the love of a Higher Power in my life. I am conscious of that Power's guidance and strength within me. Today, I claim it for my own.

pg. 231

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August 10
Regular Prayer And Meditation

"Most of us pray when we are hurting. We learn that if we pray regularly, we won't be hurting as often or as intensely."

Basic Text, p.44

Regular prayer and meditation are two more key elements in our new pattern of living. Our active addiction was more than just a bad habit waiting to be broken by force of will. Our addiction was a negative, draining dependence that stole all our positive energy. That dependence was so total, it prevented us from developing any kind of reliance on a Higher Power.

From the very beginning of our recovery, our Higher Power has been the force that's brought us freedom. First, it relieved us of our compulsion to keep taking drugs, even when we knew they were killing us. Then, it gave us freedom from the more deeply ingrained aspects of our disease. Our Higher Power gave us the direction, the strength, and the courage to inventory ourselves; to admit out loud to another person what our lives had been like, perhaps for the first time; to begin seeking release from the chronic defects of character underlying our troubles; and, at last, to make amends for the wrongs we'd done.

That first contact with a Higher Power, and that first freedom, has grown into a life full of freedom. We maintain that freedom by maintaining and improving our conscious contact with our Higher Power through regular prayer and meditation.

Just for today: I will make a commitment to include regular prayer and meditation in my new pattern of living.

pg. 232

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August 11
Active Listening
"Through active listening, we hear things that work for us."

Basic Text, p.102

Most of us arrived in Narcotics Anonymous with a very poor ability to listen. But to take full advantage of "the therapeutic value of one addict helping another" we must learn to listen actively.

What is active listening for us? In meetings, it means we concentrate on what the speaker is sharing, while the speaker is sharing. We set aside our own thoughts and opinions until the meeting is over. That's when we sort through what we've heard to decide which ideas we want to use and which we want to explore further.

We can apply our active listening skills in sponsorship, too. Newcomers often talk with us about some "major event" in their lives. While such events may not seem significant to us, they are to the newcomer who has little experience living life on life's terms. Our active listening helps us empathize with the feelings such events trigger in our sponsee's life. With that understanding, we have a better idea of what to share with them.

The ability to listen actively was unknown to us in the isolation of our addiction. Today, this ability helps us actively engage with our recovery. Through active listening, we receive everything being offered us in NA, and we share fully with others the love and care we've been given.

Just for today: I will strive to be an active listener. I will practice active listening when others share and when I share with others.

pg. 233

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August 12
Enough!

"Something inside cries out, 'Enough, enough, I've had enough; and then they are ready to take that first and often most difficult step toward dealing with their disease."

Text, p.203

Have we really had enough? This is the crucial question we must ask ourselves as we prepare to work the First Step in Narcotics Anonymous. It doesn't matter whether or not we arrived in NA with our families intact, our careers still working for us, and all the outward appearances of wholeness. All that matters is that we have reached an emotional and spiritual bottom that precludes our return to active addiction. If we have, we will be truly ready to go to any lengths to quit using.

When we inventory our powerlessness, we ask ourselves some simple questions. Can I control my use of drugs in any form? What incidents have occurred as a result of my drug use that I didn't want to happen? How is my life unmanageable? Do I believe in my heart that I am an addict?

If the answers to these questions lead us to the doors of Narcotics Anonymous, then we are ready to move on to the next step toward a life free from active addiction. If we have truly had enough, then we will be willing to go to any lengths to find recovery.

Just for today: I admit that I have had enough. I am ready to work my First Step.

pg. 234

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August 13
Difficult People

By giving unconditional love...we become more loving, and by sharing spiritual growth we become more spiritual."

Basic Text, p.99

Most of us have one or two exceptionally difficult people in our lives. How do we deal with such a person in our recovery? First, we take our own inventory. Have we wronged this person? Has some action or attitude of ours served as an invitation for the kind of treatment they have given us? If so, we will want to clear the air, admit we have been wrong, and ask our Higher Power to remove whatever defects may prevent us from being helpful and constructive.

Next, as people seeking to live spiritually oriented lives, we approach the problem from the other person's point of view. They may be faced with any number of challenges we either fail to consider or know nothing about, challenges that cause them to be unpleasant. As it's said, we seek in recovery "to forgive rather than be forgiven; to understand rather than be understood."

Finally, if it is within our power, we seek ways to help others overcome their challenges without injuring their dignity. We pray for their well-being and spiritual growth and for the ability to offer them the unconditional love that has meant so much to us in our recovery.

We cannot change the difficult people in our lives, nor can we please everyone. But by applying the spiritual principles we've learned in NA, we can learn to love them.

Just for today: Higher Power, help me serve other people, not demand that they serve me.

pg. 235

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August 14
Letting Go Of Our Limitations

"We don't have to settle for the limitations of the past. We can examine and reexamine our old ideas."

Basic Text, p.11

Most of us come to the program with a multitude of self-imposed limitations that prevent us from realizing our full potential, limitations that impede our attempts to find the values that lie at the core of our being. We place limitations on our ability to be true to ourselves, limitations on our ability to function at work, limitations on the risks we're willing to take-the list seems endless. If our parents or teachers told us we would never succeed, and we believed them, chances are we didn't achieve much. If our socialization taught us not to stand up for ourselves, we didn't, even if everything inside us was screaming to do so.

In Narcotics Anonymous, we are given a process by which we can recognize these false limitations for what they are. Through our Fourth Step, we'll discover that we don't want to keep all the rules we've been taught. We don't have to be the life-long victims of past experiences. We are free to discard the ideas that inhibit our growth. We are capable of stretching our boundaries to encompass new ideas and new experiences. We are free to laugh, to cry, and, above all, to enjoy our recovery.

Just for today: I will let go of my self-imposed limitations and open my mind to new ideas.

pg. 236

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August 15

Over Time, Not Overnight

We found that we do not recover physically, mentally, or spiritually overnight."

Basic Text, p.27

Have you ever approached a recovery celebration with the feeling that you should be further along in your recovery than you are? Maybe you have listened to newcomers sharing in meetings, members with much less clean time, and thought, "But I'm just barely beginning to understand what they're talking about!"

It's odd that we should come into recovery thinking that we will feel wonderful right away or no longer have any difficulty handling life's twists and turns. We expect our physical problems to correct themselves, our thinking to become rational, and a fully developed spiritual life to manifest itself overnight. We forget that we spent years abusing our bodies, numbing our minds, and suppressing our awareness of a Higher Power. We cannot undo the damage in a day. We can, however, apply the next step, go to the next meeting, help the next newcomer. We heal and recover bit by bit-not overnight, but over time.

Just for today: My body will heal a little, my mind will become a little clearer, and my relationship with my Higher Power will strengthen.

pg. 237

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August 16
Up Or Down

"This is our road to spiritual growth. We change every day.... This growth is not the result of wishing but of action and prayer."

Basic Text, p. 35-36

Our spiritual condition is never static; if it's not growing, it's decaying. If we stand still, our spiritual progress will lose its upward momentum. Gradually, our growth will slow, then halt, then reverse itself. Our tolerance will wear thin; our willingness to serve others will wane; our minds will narrow and close. Before long, we'll be right back where we started: in conflict with everyone and everything around us, unable to bear even ourselves.

Our only option is to actively participate in our program of spiritual growth. We pray, seeking knowledge greater than our own from a Power greater than ourselves. We open our minds and keep them open, becoming teachable and taking advantage of what others have to share with us. We demonstrate our willingness to try new ideas and new ways of doing things, experiencing life in a whole new way. Our spiritual progress picks up speed and momentum, driven by the Higher Power we are coming to understand better each day.

Up or down - it's one or the other, with very little in between, where spiritual growth is concerned. Recovery is not fueled by wishing and dreaming, we've discovered, but by prayer and action.

Just for today: The only constant in my spiritual condition is change. I cannot rely on yesterday's program. Today, I seek new spiritual growth through prayer and action.

pg. 238

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August 17
Tell The Truth
"A symptom of our disease is alienation, and honest sharing will free us to recover."

Basic Text, p. 80

Truth connects us to life while fear, isolation, and dishonesty alienate us from it. As using addicts, we hid as much of the truth about ourselves from as much of the world as we possibly could. Our fear kept us from opening ourselves up to those around us, providing protection against what others might do if we appeared vulnerable. But our fear also kept us from connecting with our world. We lived like alien beings on our own planet, always alone and getting lonelier by the minute.

The Twelve Steps and the fellowship of recovering addicts give people like us a place where we can feel safe telling the truth about ourselves. We are able to honestly admit our frustrating, humbling powerlessness over addiction because we meet many others who've been in the same situation - we're safe among them. And we keep on telling more of the truth about ourselves as we continue to work the steps. The more we do, the more truly connected we feel to the world around us.

Today, we need not hide from the reality of our relations with the people, places, and things in our lives. We accept those relationships just as they are, and we own our part in them. We take time every day to ask, "Am I telling the truth about myself?" Each time we do this, we draw that much further away from the alienation that characterizes our addiction, and that much closer to the freedom recovery can bring us.

Just for today: Truth is my connection to reality. Today, I will take time to ask myself, "Am I telling the truth?"

pg. 239

Isolation isn't just of the body, it is also the mind and the spirit. It is part of my disease. It is not a recovery tool.

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August 18
How Long Do I Have To Go?

"The way to remain a productive, responsible member of society is to put our recovery first."

Basic Text, p. 102

The meetings have been great! Each night we've attended, we've gathered with other addicts to share experience, strength, and hope. And each day, we've used what we've learned in the meetings to continue in our recovery.

Meanwhile, life goes on. Work, family, friends, school, sport, entertainment, community activities, civic obligations-all call out for our time. The demands of everyday living sometimes make us ask ourselves, "How long do I have to go to these meetings?"

Let's think about this. Before coming to Narcotics Anonymous, could we stay clean on our own? What makes us think we can now? Then there's the disease itself to consider - the chronic self-centeredness, the obsessiveness, the compulsive behavior patterns that express themselves in so many areas of our lives. Can we live and enjoy life without effective treatment for our disease? No.

"Ordinary" people may not have to worry about such things, but we're not "0rdinary" people - we're addicts. We can't pretend we don't have a fatal, progressive illness, because we do. Without our program, we may not survive to worry about the demands of work, school, family, or anything else. NA meetings give us the support and direction we need to recover from our addiction, allowing us to live the fullest lives possible.
Just for today: I want to live and enjoy life. To do that, I will put my recovery first.

pg. 240

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August 19
First Things First

"We apply effort to our most obvious problems and let go of the rest. We do the job at hand and, as we progress, new opportunities for improvement present themselves."

Basic Text, p. 54

It's been said that recovery is simple? All we've got to change is everything! That can seem a pretty tall order, especially when we first arrive in Narcotics Anonymous. After all, not many of us showed up at our first meeting because our lives were in great shape. On the contrary, a great many of us came to NA in the midst of the worst crises of our lives. We needed recovery, and quick!

The enormity of the change required in our lives can be paralyzing. We know we can't take care of all that needs to be done, not all at once. How do we start? Chances are, we've already started. We've done the first, most obvious things that needed to be done: We've stopped using drugs, and we've started going to meetings.

What do we do next? Pretty much the same thing, just more of it: From where we are, we do what we can. We walk the path of recovery by picking up our feet and taking the step that's right in front of us. Only when that's been accomplished must we concern ourselves with what comes next. Slowly but surely, we'll find ourselves making progress down the path, visibly drawing closer each day to becoming the kind of person we'd like to be.

Just for today: I will walk the path of my recovery by taking the step right in front of me.

pg. 241

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August 20
Facing Death

"Often we have to face some type of crisis during our recovery, such as the death of a loved one..."

Basic Text, p. 98

Every life has a beginning and an end. However, when someone we love a great deal reaches the end of their life, we may have a very hard time accepting their sudden, final absence. Our grief may be so powerful that we fear it will completely overwhelm us - but it will not. Our sorrow may hurt more than anything we can remember, but it will pass.

We need not run from the emotions that may arise from the death of a loved one. Death and grieving are parts of the fullness of living "life on life's terms." By allowing ourselves the freedom to experience these feelings, we partake more deeply of both our recovery and our human nature.
Sometimes the reality of another's death makes our own mortality that much more pronounced. We reevaluate our priorities, appreciating the loved ones still with us all the more. Our life, and our life with them, will not go on forever. We want to make the most of what's most important while it lasts.

We might find that the death of someone we love helps strengthen our conscious contact with our Higher Power. If we remember that we can always turn to that source of strength when we are troubled, we will be able to stay focused on it no matter what may be going on around us.

Just for today: I will accept the loss of one I love and turn to my Higher Power for the strength to accept my feelings. I will make the most of my love for those in my life today.

pg. 242