Post by admin on Dec 6, 2003 15:03:45 GMT -5
We ( my hubby and my self) sat in a court room last night and heard my steps sons name called by the judge more than once, and he was not there to answer. This little town has given this kid allot of chances, but again the kid did not show. There was a arest worent put out last night for him, So now it is in the courts hands. This was what we both were hopping for, for my step son to be made woard of the courts, so he can get some help. He has been out of control for a year and a half. As we drove home last night allot of things went through my head as I sat in the front seet of our car, and this morning when I woke up too.
We are kidless, feels funny but good. Free at last thank God almighty, we are free at
last. The long hard wore is over and we have won.. Now to find some pink paint for my step son's bed room. I am going to make that empty room into a guest room, and put ruffles on the curtains, some flowers on the walls, and fluffy rose colored rugs on the floor. lol yes it feels good to be free at last. Free of that lost feeling of hoppfuleness.
The first three years of getting sober, I was a member of a clean and sober
club. I loved going there for the meetings and I also got to know allot of
the people that went there. I would set in the meeting room before each
meeting would start and lisson to the women that had some time sober talking to
each other. These women had 10 and 15 years sober, and as they talked to
each other, they sounded so cold hearted, tough, and caulaused. I was afraid
that some day if I stayed sober I would be like they were. I at the time
didn't wont that, I didn't wont to sound like that or act like them. I
really worried about it, and feared it would happing to me. These women
were straight shooters, said it like they saw it, told the troth and put
their feelings on the table with out fear of what some one would think or
say to them. WOW, I was afraid that I would turn out to be like them if I
stayed sober. They all were so crule I thought to meself as I sat there before the meetings would start.
I have heard the statement said or question asked "when did I turn into my
Mother" lol
Some what the same thing. lol Well here I sit, 21 years sober, I don't
know when it happened, but I do remember the pain, tears, confusetion,
upset, frustration and being in jail feelings behind the growth of were I am
today. I guess I have become one of those women that I feared so long ago in that club were I got sober. But there is some thing different about me I feel, I am still soft
inside, I find that my feeling and thoughts are real, but I have learned how to protect me
better than I have ever known. I find strength in saying how it is today,
shooting straight from the hip has become an asset, and I no longer fear
people "kids" X wife's and so on. It has been a long road these past 6 years in my life, and
thank God up above I have not had to walk it alone, you have been there for
me, "Essence Of Recovery & membership" with me, along the way. Yes "free at last".
well that is what all has been going on here, I have
a feeling that life is going to get good for me and Hubby, Mr. Higgins the cat and little Miss puppy
too.
Thank you love in the fellowship always Kathy
We are kidless, feels funny but good. Free at last thank God almighty, we are free at
last. The long hard wore is over and we have won.. Now to find some pink paint for my step son's bed room. I am going to make that empty room into a guest room, and put ruffles on the curtains, some flowers on the walls, and fluffy rose colored rugs on the floor. lol yes it feels good to be free at last. Free of that lost feeling of hoppfuleness.
The first three years of getting sober, I was a member of a clean and sober
club. I loved going there for the meetings and I also got to know allot of
the people that went there. I would set in the meeting room before each
meeting would start and lisson to the women that had some time sober talking to
each other. These women had 10 and 15 years sober, and as they talked to
each other, they sounded so cold hearted, tough, and caulaused. I was afraid
that some day if I stayed sober I would be like they were. I at the time
didn't wont that, I didn't wont to sound like that or act like them. I
really worried about it, and feared it would happing to me. These women
were straight shooters, said it like they saw it, told the troth and put
their feelings on the table with out fear of what some one would think or
say to them. WOW, I was afraid that I would turn out to be like them if I
stayed sober. They all were so crule I thought to meself as I sat there before the meetings would start.
I have heard the statement said or question asked "when did I turn into my
Mother" lol
Some what the same thing. lol Well here I sit, 21 years sober, I don't
know when it happened, but I do remember the pain, tears, confusetion,
upset, frustration and being in jail feelings behind the growth of were I am
today. I guess I have become one of those women that I feared so long ago in that club were I got sober. But there is some thing different about me I feel, I am still soft
inside, I find that my feeling and thoughts are real, but I have learned how to protect me
better than I have ever known. I find strength in saying how it is today,
shooting straight from the hip has become an asset, and I no longer fear
people "kids" X wife's and so on. It has been a long road these past 6 years in my life, and
thank God up above I have not had to walk it alone, you have been there for
me, "Essence Of Recovery & membership" with me, along the way. Yes "free at last".
well that is what all has been going on here, I have
a feeling that life is going to get good for me and Hubby, Mr. Higgins the cat and little Miss puppy
too.
Thank you love in the fellowship always Kathy
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.