anger

[lala]

since my boyfriend went back out then came back into the program i find myself angry i dont know if it is at him or just jelousy cuz i know if i did it i probably wouldnt make it back in fact i know i wouldnt not this time...i pray for him every night since i spoke with my sponser about it but im curious as to why i would even be jelous of something that is so awful??? just lookin for some feedback if possible thanks.........lala

[Tiger]

Hi Lala

Let me tell you a story,

I met my wife in a bar and we drank together as alcoholics. If you saw "the days of wine and roses", you saw our story. We both slipped in and out of AA for a period of years...then....she got and stayed soberwhile I continued to drink. She was staying sober for herself. However, she continued to pray that I would get sober also. She no longer fought with me...I think they call that "tough love"

Two years later I also got and stayed sober. Last year she celebrated her 30th AA anniversary!

Remember step 2 - return us to sanity - to be jealous of your boyfriend is like being jealous of someone who jumps off a cliff into a valley of "guilt, despair, trouble and much unhappiness"

Instead, be grateful - There But For The Grace Of God Go I

This is a selfish program...stay sober for Lala.....because. really, there's nothing to be jealous about....be grateful!

Hang In There......Luv......Tiger

[bluidkiti]

Hey lala, I came into AA in '97 and struggled for the first few years. I have been sober 3 1/2 years now. My hubby still drinks and smokes pot. His drinking and smoking have increased since I have gotten sober and clean. I have talked to him about my concerns. I now put him in God's hands understanding that he has to hit his bottom in God's time not mine. I continue to be sober and clean and hopefully am a living example to my hubby of the great life I have found in sobriety. I pray for him and hang onto the HOPE I found in AA - that what has happened for me will also happen for him. As long as he is alive and breathing there is hope.

Your boyfriend went back out and has made it back - be grateful - some don't.

Love,
Tammy

[Caressa2]

Dear LaLa,

Anger is a part of grief and is natural because you have lost your best friend. The soluton to all your problems and perhaps you are angry that your boyfriend chose that escape and it wasn't an option for you.

I remember one day walking through what is called Hess Village with many patio bars, chairs and tables under umbrellas, music was playing, people were laughing, drinking and appearing to have a great time. I was STOMPING through all the mayhem and with each step thinking, gee it's not fair, they can sit there and have fun and here I am carrying these groceries in the hot sun. Then I heard myself, and realized, I could sit there too. I had to play the tape to the end and think of what would happen if I was drinking what they were drinking, but I also realized that when I put away my groceries, I could go back have a coca-cola or an ice tea in the patio, enjoy the sun and laughter and have a good time, and I didn't have to have a hangover, or act out the way I use to in the past.

My husband quit for nine months and I was going to quit and be supportive of him, because after all he had the problem. We were going to the Legion for a dance one night and I said, "Dear would it bother you if I had a couple of drinks? He said, "No, go ahead." The realitity was, he quit and I couldn't, but then I thought he had the problem not me. Today I know he was a drunk, but I am the alcoholic. He had a drinking problem and I had a thinking problem. I was the one who had the anger that he went out and got drunk passed out and the party was over, and how dare he drink all that booze if he couldn't handle it, why didn't he save some for me. I had to start putting some aside for when he passed out so I could carry on.

I was in AA for two years before I had total acceptance of my alcoholism. I knew it led me back to a place I didn't want to go but I didn't want to wear a title I gave my dad and my ex-husband. I knew I was an addict because of my prescription drugs, but me an alcoholic? No never, I am in control you know. I can walk a straight line, I can drive a car and stay on my side of the road, I could outdrink the both of them and I didn't have black outs, why I don't even like beer, what do you mean I am an alcoholic?