Post by caressa on Aug 25, 2010 22:07:43 GMT -5
So sorry I missed the meeting tonight, was so looking forward to hearing others share their thoughts on this topic.
It is where I am at and something I need to do more of. I know that I often do in part, often with a thought, and yet there is a part of me that just want to hang on.
My letting go seems to be conditional and I am back bargaining with God.
I know that I am going through a grieving process at the loss of my son from my life. I can't get hold of him, he has no phone and for the first time in his life, there hasn't been that connection between us.
I am finding that 'mother' wants to be in the know. It is none of my business. He needs to run his own life and his own recovery or lack thereof, which is his choice.
I need to let go of the worry of not sleeping when i am suppose to and sleeping when I should be awake. I think my body has been at battle with itself and doesn't know what to do, so it doesn't do anything. Often when you try, or try too hard, it doesn't happen. Again it is let go, just be in the moment and let go and let God.
I am glad none of you were here to hear the internal dialogue that went on this morning. I hopped from my chair and my book to my computer either posting or playing Bejewelled2 but not going into my bed. Because there was no 'yawn' apparent, I was not tired. No thought of the body being tired, let alone the mind and just going to bed to rest to see if perhaps you do fall asleep. I am my worst task master.
You will note that I didn't mention anything about doing housework as a filler and a task that I could do to make me tired enough to sleep.
When life appears, I must always remember to let go and turn things over to my Higher Power, the God of my understanding. It is in the surrendering that I win. I can not let go if I don't first take my hands off of it.
So glad it is one day at a time, progress not perfection.
This little guy portrays how I feel. I am still one sick puppy!
It is where I am at and something I need to do more of. I know that I often do in part, often with a thought, and yet there is a part of me that just want to hang on.
My letting go seems to be conditional and I am back bargaining with God.
I know that I am going through a grieving process at the loss of my son from my life. I can't get hold of him, he has no phone and for the first time in his life, there hasn't been that connection between us.
I am finding that 'mother' wants to be in the know. It is none of my business. He needs to run his own life and his own recovery or lack thereof, which is his choice.
I need to let go of the worry of not sleeping when i am suppose to and sleeping when I should be awake. I think my body has been at battle with itself and doesn't know what to do, so it doesn't do anything. Often when you try, or try too hard, it doesn't happen. Again it is let go, just be in the moment and let go and let God.
I am glad none of you were here to hear the internal dialogue that went on this morning. I hopped from my chair and my book to my computer either posting or playing Bejewelled2 but not going into my bed. Because there was no 'yawn' apparent, I was not tired. No thought of the body being tired, let alone the mind and just going to bed to rest to see if perhaps you do fall asleep. I am my worst task master.
You will note that I didn't mention anything about doing housework as a filler and a task that I could do to make me tired enough to sleep.
When life appears, I must always remember to let go and turn things over to my Higher Power, the God of my understanding. It is in the surrendering that I win. I can not let go if I don't first take my hands off of it.
So glad it is one day at a time, progress not perfection.
This little guy portrays how I feel. I am still one sick puppy!
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.