Post by Caressa2 on Jun 6, 2004 5:17:52 GMT -5
Two-Stepping is the same type of insanity that is found in the second Step.
We come into recovery, and it isn't as though we arrive with bells on and with the great hurrah! "I'm here, I'm here, look at me I finally made it to AA."
Yet so many people you see, come, they come to believe that AA works for others, they see it happen, and then they believe they can go and tell the world about this wonderful new thing they have found!
How do I know? I was there! At two years sober, I wanted to tell the world about what I knew and about this new way of life. What I know today was that I had just detoxed, I was just aware that I had a chance at life but I hadn't even acquired the tools, let alone the knowledge that their application would bring.''
The program is the Fellowship of the Spirit, where we learn that working the Steps, can lead to us "finding ourselves" and when we are complete and whole, then we have a message to carry."
I also found out that this is a program of change. I was told I had to change everything about myself, and then when I made some changes, more changes had to be made. I remember my co-sponsor saying as if it was yesterday, "Just because you change something, doesn't mean it isn't going to come up again! I can still remember the horror that this was an on going process, and that is today, isn't going to stay that wasy even though "I" fixed it!
Then I realized that I couldn't do it alone, of myself I am nothing but God doeth the work. Left up to me, I was almost perfect and I wouldn't have had to work so hard.
It took me two years to find total acceptance of my disease. I realized that what I had mistaken as a "fourth" step just merely qualified me to sit on a chair in the rooms, and to listen to what recovery really was instead of thinking I knew what it was. I had just come out of the fog, and was starting to believe there was hope.
The distance between Steps One and Twleve is that of a marathon of hills and valleys, hopes and dreams, and tears and fears, laughter and faith, forgiveness and trust. It is an awesme journey and not one to be overlooked or missed out on.
I had to let go of the darkness so the light of reason could shine. Then I had to continue, feeding that light so it wouldn't grow dim. I had to work to maintain that light and spread the glow to others. If is didn't share that light, it would go out, and then I would be back in the darkness again not knowing where I was going and forgetting my purpose for being.
As my spiritual advisor told me, when you get to Step Twleve, you just start over. Life is a cycle, as you grow, each day is a new beginning. Someone once asked me if I practiced the Twelve Steps in my life. I responded, "Yes, some days, all Twelve!"
I was given a second chance at life. I believe that when I was given that chance, it was the opportunity to take several steps, not just two.
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.