keeping it light.....

[SunnyGirl]

My youngest son is one of my qualifiers and for a long
time he avoided coming around to visit us and I truly
had no idea why.....

For the last year I've been trying to keep our visits
light and breezy. I try to stay away from topics that
might lead to major differences of opinions. He knows
how I feel about his lifestyle, so I make it a point to
avoid bringing it up and so far it's making for a much
more cohesive visit for all of us.

It's not my job to be his, or anyone's judge! My job
is to become the best person I can be, what other's
choose it up to them. I learned this early on, but had
such a difficult time making my mouth obey my brain....
I am amazed, how one small simple step on my part,
has enriched our relationship.

I have a full time job just working on my recovery! I
have to work on it each and every day, always a defect
to work on, always something to share with a newcomer.
We are recovering, never recovered!

Peace on the journey, SunnyGirl

[caressa]

This was a good topic for the meeting. I know that it was important for my actions not to belie my words. I had to walk my talk in order for my A to see the difference in me and know that the program worked. He was quick to point out when I needed a meeting.

There was no way he wanted me to go back to where I came from and yet he didn't want to follow in my footsteps. He saw me giving and to his way of thinking, people should have shown a little more appreciation. I told him that is not why we give. He could not see this. It was his own selfish, self-centeredness of his own disease. Wanting the attention and care that I gave to others, often to his way of thinking, not giving him what he wanted. A big issue with him from when he was growing up and mother wasn't there for him. In recovery, I was there helping the newcomers, the people who wanted to stay sober.

I didn't make light of his wants and desires, it was always important to validate. I learned this when he told me that I didn't see the person behind the disease.

It were times like that made me laugh because if I didn't, I would have cried.

So many times, laughter is a mask to cover up the pain. It is good to laugh and feel it! Know it is real.

[majestyjo]

Have spent three days this week with my son. It was good.

He doesn't need me to preach, even though I like to slip in a well meaningful suggestion. 🎃