the Three Cs

[caressa]

There's an old slogan (nicknamed "The Three C's") that says, "I didn't cause it, I can't control it, and I can't cure it." For me, it's a helpful one to remember, especially when people in my life are active in an addiction or are on a "dry high." It's useful in situations with non-addicts, too. Most human beings behave as they do for reasons that have little to do with us.

Original source unknonw to me, snagged from another site

This slogan I have always associated with Al-Anon. this is the first time I have ever heard the phrase 'dry high' and it struck home with me. A dry drunk, why not a dry addict.

The principles are the same. I just have to remember the person behind the disease and not take everything personal.

[BW]

so very true Car... It was very enlightening for me to finally realize I could in fact forgive the person without condoning the behavior.

[majestyjo]

My son just left here today, and this made me think of how even though he isn't using today, he was Friday and Saturday. His energy is not good and I have to consider where he is coming from, a place of active addiction even though he isn't drunk or stoned in the moment. The thinking is there and he is quite often coming from his disease in thought and deed.

I have to look at my son and see him for who he is and remember where he is coming from and continue to pray for him, whether he wants me to or not.

[majestyjo]

It is a good slogan to remember. I can still let guilt creep in, especially when my son projects in onto me. I have to detach and not take ownership, it is his stuff not mine. I am clean and sober in today and I don't have to pay for the error of my ways from my past, for the rest of my life.

My God has forgiven me, and through Him I can forgive myself, by changing and being the new me.

[majestyjo]

This helped me with the old blame game. It was often projected onto me, but I blamed others and stayed in my denial.
They had the problem, not me

For years, the sound of my mother's voice stayed with me. Look at what you made me do. I didn't know that I didn't have the power to maker her do anything.