|
|
Post by lala on Jun 16, 2004 12:32:33 GMT -5
today im trying to find the middle somewhere in my recovery and daily life to balance things out i have been trying to live by a daily list and i find it to be one of the hardest things ive ever done i feel almost rebellious when it comes to living by a sheet of paper. but when i am able to do so my daily life is much more managable and things seem to go alot smoother for me when i was in my addiction nothing was organized or focused for me so this list thing is all new to me but i keep trying one day at a time thanks for letting me share...lala
|
|
|
|
Post by lee on Jun 16, 2004 12:54:01 GMT -5
keep up the good work lv ya LW
|
|
|
|
Post by caressa on Jun 16, 2004 12:57:10 GMT -5
Sounds challenging to me my friend. I found I need to make goals for the day, but if they don't all materialize as I see them, then it is okay, because God thinks differently than I do.
I use to beat myself up when I didn't meet the expectations of my lists. Then I was told to look at what I did do, and I found out that I had accomplished more than I realized, that I was redirected to other areas which God seemed to think were more important.
Balance is important. but balanced and centered within myself, not with what is going on around me. That is impossible. I don't make the world go around, and if I attach myself to things outside of myself, then I would be in a spin. For me, that is why they say recovery is an inside job. It is about me fixing me, yet God seems to have a better handle on me and my life than I do.
I can remember reading Melody Beatties book on Codependency at five years sober. I went to some friends and shared with them the great book I had found and they said, "Oh, we read that our first year!"
I had a resentment. I thought, "How dare you find something like this and not share it! We were members of the same group!" Then I realized, that I was probably not ready to hear, or not open to accepting what I read. When I was ready, the book was made available to me. Not before, not after, but as they say, when the pupil is ready, the teacher will appear.
|
|
|
|
Post by Tiger on Jun 16, 2004 13:51:29 GMT -5
]I have found that "life" is a mosaic of many different shades of white and black and are constantly changing. For me, I have to stay away from the "absolutes" and stay in the middle of this thing called"reality"
As I remember the old-timers of the "Golden Age" of AA they had one common thread.........they knew "how to keep it simple"
I still believe one can philosophize and "think" their way right out of this program
Tiger
|
|
|
|
Post by ~graced~ on Jun 16, 2004 18:23:08 GMT -5
Boy, I do hear the pain, Lala...LOL I was more than lacking discipline when I was shoved into the program of Alcoholic Anonymous. (I hadta be shoved in multiple times....eesshh) One of the first things my sponsor did for me was to help me find a bit of discipline. I was one of those 'fly by the seat of my pants' kinda gals! Most times that meant fly right into whoever had any substance. I had an ancient sponsor..LOL and I got a list of daily things to do that he was kind enough to check up on to see that I'd followed through on. I can't say that I much liked it. I hated accountability and responsibility of any type. And hey!!! I gave up booze--and now they wanted me to live by some sorta schedule and be accountable AND be responsible? umm...no thanks! LOL
Truth is, learning some discipline was absolutely required for this alcoholic. And here I am a few 24 hours later, doing the same disciplines that I hadta be almost BEATEN into submission to do.... today I do them without a whole lotta thought, cuz they've become more of a way of life than anything.
Discipline was required for this alcoholic. I didn't see the value in it then though....footloose and fancy free was my deal. Getting up in the morning to hit my knees, prayer time, meditation time, daily readings, nightly readings, nightly inventories---Little did I know that those disciplines would save my life later when facing the truth about ME almost claimed me.
You hang in there--while it didn't make a lick of sense to me what difference those things would make in my attitude and willingness at the onset, they're a huge part of the solid foundation that my sobriety is built on today. And believe it or not, they really DO work!
|
|
|
|
Post by caressa222 on Mar 11, 2020 1:48:10 GMT -5
Still can have problems with discipline. Still a go with the flow type of person. It seems to help me align my will with my Gods. I do have some discipline in my life, but I want to be flexible, open minded and not limited by my expectations and narrow outlook.
|
|
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.