six month marker

[lala]

i almost at 6 months being clean and sober i recently reunited with an old dear friend of mine whom i used to run a muck with and he now is clean and sober but he did it on his own we talked and reminised about the good ol days that really wasnt so good and when we were done i felt a bit lonley and sad i asked my higher power what that was all about and in writting about it i found that there is a bit of a grieving process that takes place when you get clean i ask myself what is there to grieve if it was so bad and again in my writting i found that for so long alchohol and drugs were such a part of me that now i am clean i have to find other parts of me that were there there but hiding all along the art of writting is so important thru writting and my higher power i find answers today to lifes trials and tribulations and the program has taught me that even though i may feel alone sumtimes im really not i have god in my life and people who truly care and love me the steps help guide me to finding out who i am and what im really about so for todaY ALL MY ANSWERS COME FROM GOD and the willingness to write about feelings and knowing that feelings wont kill me. i want to express how important reaching out is for me today i come from a very secluded life and when im reaching out to other alcoholics who know what im going through its a growth process for me and it helps me know that im not really alone ever............lala

[mender1]

6 month's
very cool
When I got sober I had used for so long and so hard that the only way to cope was to shut down emotion's.
When these emotion's were awakened again I was flooded with emotion's.
It is ok to feel remorse for the things I had done in addiction that were wrong.
But is better to feel forgiveness.
If I truly turn it over to my Hp

I can not forget where I came from ,
I am where I am today because I came the path of addiction.
It makes me more thankful for things.

I live in a small little town along the Mississippi and the town is built on a bluff over the river.
I walk out front and watch the sunrise come up from the East over the foothills that the river flow's thru
and can see it turn and go out of sight.
Then in the evening from my back porch I can watch the sun set over the horizen of the foothills.
All in one 24.
Last spring I was sitting on the bluff watching the river go by and I looked up and there were 3-4 fox cubs looking down over the over hang wondering what a human was doing watching the river
Just little things I missed when I was using

[~graced~]

Writing slows me down and helps me organize my thoughts so I can see more clearly. I have this racing alcoholic mind that can leap all over the map--so writing has proven to be essential in my recovery.

Good for you to recognize all the 'stuff' that got dredged up after seeing an old playmate who's put down the drink. Hashing over old times with old buddies used to be one of those triggers that would eventually lead to my going back out. I wasn't able to go there and do that for some time--I had to steer clear of old friends and old stomping grounds. I'll share my story in the name of helping another, but recalling it simply for 'remember the good ol' days....'......dangerous stuff for me. And at that time of nearing six months---horribly dangerous. Any anniversary in the program seems to bring out the squirrels in my head..LOL

But congratulations to YOU for nearing the mark and for having the discipline to sit and write it out for purposes of getting honest with you! I'm thinking it's a pretty natural and healthy thing to do some grieving. Letting go of that old way of life is a process and grief was part of it for me too. It didn't last long....I'd play the tape all the way through and remember to be grateful for exactly where my feet were that day. I certainly could glorify it for a moment in time, but looking at how unmanageable it became and how many people I'd hurt brought it back to where it needed to be for me.

Congratulations...and good for you to have the ability to step back and write to get that clarity instead of doing what we're accustomed to doing and living in the insanities!

[TxRainwater]

TEXTTEXTTEXT Lala,
Congrats on the 6 months, more congrats on 'today'!!
I have found that writing things down on paper, getting them 'out of self' has and does help a lot for me. I don't do that as often as I should as my handwriting still sux but, I do keep an online journal that helps a lot.
I am almost 11 months sober now and feel so 'fragile' a lot of the time. I have to continually stay in the 'now'. I may share those past experiences if led to in helpingTEXT another, but is dangerous ground for me.
I was on a road trip this past week and as we passed through a town where I did a lot of my partying and good times, before it really got bad, I was able to share some things with my friend who is also in recovery and it helped me a lot. Brought up a lot of 'stuff' that I had forgotten about or haven't had the time or opportuntity to think about and process. Really 'buffed up' my gratitude list for the day!
Thanks for sharing with me Lala, and keep doin what works for you to stay sober....one day at a time!
Love and Light,
Brenda

[TxRainwater]

Just got this in email and thought it applied pretty well:

Each day a new beginning
There were deep secrets, hidden in my heart, never said for fear others would scoff or sneer. At last I can reveal my sufferings, for the strength I once felt in silence has lost all its power. ~ Deidra Sarault.
^*^

There is magic in sharing ourselves with someone else. We learn fro Steps Four and Five that what we thought were heinous acts are not unusual. Our shameful acts are not unique, and this discovery is our gift when we risk exposure.

Realizing how much we are like others gives us strength, and the program paves the way for us to capture that strength whenever and wherever we sense our need. Secrets block us from others and thus from God too. The messages we heed to hear, the guidance offered by God, can't be received when we close ourselves off from the caring persons in our lives. They are the carriers of God's message.

How freeing to know we share the same fears, the same worries. Offering our story to someone else may be the very encouragement they need at this time. Each of us profits from the sharing of a story. We need to recognize and celebrate our "sameness." When we share ourselves, we are bonded. Bonding combines our strength.


..............Silence divides us. It diminishes our strength. Yet all the strength we need awaits us. I will let someone else know me today.


Love and Light,
Brenda

[ChrisK]

Just seen this, way to go on the 6 months. I enjoy watching people coming along and growing in their sobriety. I don't notice it so much in myself however, you sit and watch the necommer blossom. This makes the program rewarding in as much as it's selfish but, we do it together.