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Post by majestyjo on Nov 2, 2014 16:41:00 GMT -5
How wonderful it is that our feelings can help us do the right thing when we're in doubt. Will I have the courage to follow my true feelings today? If I don't have the courage, I pray for the willingness to have the willingness to change my attitude and deal with what I need to do for my recovery in today. When all else fails, try the Serenity prayer.
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Post by Lin on Nov 3, 2014 17:47:38 GMT -5
C is for choices. I never knew i had them. Today i can choose to be happy. I can choose to do what it takes to maintain my serenity. And I can choose my own words and actions
Lin
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Post by majestyjo on Nov 5, 2014 22:34:38 GMT -5
Quote: I thought controlled drinking was; you drink all you can and then try to control yourself. - Sean A.
- Alkiespeaks I couldn't understand the word powerless until I substituted the word control. I thought I was in control. It was an illusion. As I have said before many times, if you have to control it, it is already out of control.
This guy reminds me of me. I thought I was doing social drinking when I went out and only had 8 rum and coke. Compared to what I drank in later years it was social drinking.
My controlled drink was after I kicked my husband out for being drunk and disorderly, I realized that I couldn't afford to keep me in the style I would like to become accustomed. So I would go to an event, like dart night or to the bridge club, then I would go down after the event, and just order a couple for a night cap.
What I ended up doing was substituting pills and told myself I was quitting drinking.
I had a real fear of losing control of myself. My dad and my ex-husband were falling down drunks. There was no way I wanted to lose control of my body and just let go and have fun. Heaven forbid that I should act like them. My motto was do it with style and grace, but you can't have too much style and grace if you have drank a 26er, I was a delusion in my own mind.
Again, if you have to control it, it is out of control. No matter what substance you are using. I have this ongoing discussion with people from the other side of the street. They seem to be under the illusion that control issues are only issues for addicts. They believe they are in control of their of life. They are in control of their feelings, their own choices, their own decision, and their own beliefs. I thought that too. The only difference between them and me, is that I make the decision to do a Step One, Two and Three each morning when I get up.
Control is an illusion. In today, my God takes me out of that.
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Post by majestyjo on Nov 14, 2014 11:01:57 GMT -5
My sponsor said that I had to make a 180 deg turn, and do the complete opposite of what I did before. If I wanted to be clean and sober, I had to be willing to go to any length and that meant, changing people, places, and things. That included my family and friends, foods and those old place where I use to frolic and have fun at. As SG always likes to say, nothing changes if nothing changes.
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Post by majestyjo on Nov 14, 2014 11:15:10 GMT -5
Catch the Recovery Train. On your way by, catch a sponsor and find a home group. Catch the suggestions, there are no have toos, but there are a lot of darn well betters, could haves and should haves, along the way, if you are willing to cling to the old guilt. If you have been open to catching the Good Orderly Direction on your journey, you will gain wisdom, knowledge, awareness, and some tools along the way, that will allow you to change. Don't close the door to the past, don't live there, but allow yourself to heal and let go of it in today. So much of our life in today, is rooted in the past, so we need to deal with the issues, memories, guilt, etc. and by doing this, we close the door on our disease. Our disease may knock, but we don't have to open the door and let it in. We can keep the door closed, one day at a time, using the tools of recovery. If we don't feed it and fuel the fire, the Light won't shine on the past, but be present in today.
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Post by majestyjo on Nov 14, 2014 11:30:36 GMT -5
Count not the years, and the the number of things done in the past, they are all covered under the umbrella of that was then, this is now. Count the seconds, moments, and hours of today. Count the blessing in today, don't focus on how many times you screwed up, but how many times you got back up to try again. Don't count how many times you helped someone, but know that you were able to help counts. Know that you count, that you deserve recovery. As I was told when I came into recovery, "You are a child of God. God doesn't make no Junk."
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Post by majestyjo on Nov 20, 2014 23:46:18 GMT -5
Found myself always getting angry. Didn't know it was a defence mechanism. Didn't know it was denial. When you get to Step Ten, and you hear, every time you point a finger at someone, you have three coming back at you; you don't feel so bad, because you are glad you aren't the one pointing the finger. Today, I am not as fearful of it. I do try to take it to heart and have a little talk to my God about it. I try to get honest and see my part, get honest, keep an open mind and be willing to change. For me, it is about getting back to basics, which is prayer ad meditation, and applying the Steps. I have also found that if I avoid it, my God keeps bringing me back to it, and if I don't listen to one person, He will bring someone else into my life to carry the message to me. As a sponsee said many years ago, "Is your God hitting you over the head again with a spiritual cast iron frying pan?" I did a meditation the other day with one of my many angel cards and got a card that said, "Listen" (Quiet your mind, everything has been taken care of, a quiet body and mind hears quickly and clearly) and if I remember rightly, at the time I shuffled the deck and later went back and read it. Like the card I got tonight, "There is nothing to worry about." When can walk in fear or in faith, we do have a choice.
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Post by majestyjo on Nov 27, 2014 1:28:50 GMT -5
C is for Cope. Alcohol and drug were my coping tool. I didn't think I could live without them. I just had to have them. I didn't know that the body manufactured the pain to tell me that I needed more. I didn't know that my disease was cunning, baffling, and powerful. I didn't know that when I picked it up drug of choice, or another drug as a substitute (giving myself a pat on the back for not using my drug of choice), that it controlled me and that I any control I had was an illusion. If you have to control it, it is already out of control. How can I cope with all these emotions without that almighty pill? How can I cope with all those people unless I have that little something to take off the edge? How can I cope with all the stress at work if I don't have something to relax me just a little bit? It is now legal in some states! As the commercials say, it is now 30% stronger now than it was 30 years ago. How can I cope? How can you expect me to come off everything? I rue the day that my doctor put me on an inhaler so that I could continue smoking when I came into recovery. He said it would kill me if I quit everything, and perhaps he was right. It gave me a license to continue using cigarettes for another 7 years. When I quit smoking, I found that it covered a lot of anger, resentment, abandonment, rejection, and other feelings that hadn't come up and surfaced when I did my original 4th Step. You can't let go of what you don't feel. The cigarettes helped to keep the feeling buried. So did the eating disorder, the addictions to busy, computer, and gambling (Nevada Tickets) that I developed and had to deal with over the years. How do I cope? With the Serenity Prayer and the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, adapted and applicable to all areas of my life.
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Post by majestyjo on Jul 19, 2015 0:50:36 GMT -5
Quite often I get into a comfort zone and find myself resenting anything that comes into my life to threaten it. I was told that if you come to a place of comfort and it feels too good, especially if it is too good to be true, it is time to change. Like having an old pair of shoes, not wanting to go out and buying a new pair because you know you will have to break them in and may have to go through some pain and discomfort in order to break them in. In the long run, it is for your good and you are happy with the result, but it is in the getting there that we dig in our heels.
I can become complacent, taking things for granted, even my Higher Power. I know He is there, I know He knows, but I also know, He wants me to go to Him, not Him come to me! God helps them who helps themselves and I can't just sit back and not do the footwork or make the effort to change. I need to bring the willingness and courage, even if I have to pray for Him to get it.
I find that when I go to meetings it isn't so easy to slip into those old patterns, but because of my disability and not always able to be mobile, I need to make that conscious contact on a daily basis. I have my space, my place to talk to my God daily and it is out of bounds to others.
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Post by Lin on Jul 23, 2015 12:27:21 GMT -5
C is for CAUSE.. I can't CAUSE another to drink or even to stop drinking. It's part of the three Cs of alanon...didn't cause it, can't control it and can't cure it,.
LIN
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Post by majestyjo on Dec 6, 2015 11:36:25 GMT -5
The five As of change: awareness, admittance, acceptance, attitude, and action. Learning to deal with life as a result of experiencing mental, emotional, and physical trauma. There are many more, but I can never remember them all. Attachments:
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Post by majestyjo on Dec 21, 2015 22:47:25 GMT -5
Originally posted on my site The Gathering Eagles[/CENTER][/font]
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Post by majestyjo on Jan 7, 2016 15:18:41 GMT -5
I found out that it was 'could' restore me to sanity, not necessarily 'would'! Lately my days are highly suspect! I have freedom of choice. Easy does it...but do it! Thought has to be followed by action. My spiritual adviser use to say, "Don't call them problems, you can stay stuck in them. He said, "Call them challenges, those you can overcome.
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Post by majestyjo on Oct 14, 2017 19:47:13 GMT -5
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Post by majestyjo on Oct 28, 2017 18:59:44 GMT -5
Complacency can be comfortable. I was told if and when I felt comfortable and content where I was, then it was time to move on.
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Post by majestyjo on Dec 19, 2017 10:11:23 GMT -5
C is for Clarity. Each day I try to remember to ask for clarity of thought. My brain isn't always clear, so sometimes I forget. What a difference a day makes, when you turn your thoughts, actions, and speech over to your Higher Power. In the Native culture, every lesson begins in the East. That is were we get illumination and clarity of thought. Life comes full circle, and withing those circles are many circles. Each is an experience learned, and if we didn't learn it the first time around, our Higher Power will bring us back time and again, until we do learn.
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Post by caressa222 on Jan 25, 2018 19:36:36 GMT -5
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Post by majestyjo on Feb 19, 2018 12:43:32 GMT -5
Like the line, not fixed in concrete. I can make a choice, and if I don't like it or it doesn't take me to where I need to be, I can make another choice to change what is to what I feel is in my best interest and well being.
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Post by majestyjo on Mar 22, 2018 10:54:59 GMT -5
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Post by caressa222 on Apr 25, 2018 15:25:37 GMT -5
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