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Post by majestyjo on Oct 5, 2016 16:31:27 GMT -5
Just for today, I will be open to receive the gifts my Higher Power sends to me. They come in all shapes and sizes, and when I pray and ask for help, I need to be open to receive what He feels that I need. Like the connection today of a long time Al-Anon member who came to my group, plus another woman who I hadn't seen at our group, I asked her if she was new, just in case. She wasn't, but I thought I would ask just in case. I was able to share with her before she left the group to go back to work. Those are gifts of a different colour, and always helps me. The words that I spoke to her where words that I needed for my own journey in today. We can do what I can't do alone.  |
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Post by bunnypie on Oct 5, 2016 19:24:22 GMT -5
WE is the first word in the first step and is for a reason.....
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Post by majestyjo on Oct 6, 2016 17:57:00 GMT -5
Just for today, I will look to be accepting of what is going on in my life. It isn't about acccepting my alcoholism or my drug of choice which is more, it is about accepting life on life's terms. I have had a lot of pain lately, my Fibromyalgia has come out of remission and I know that a lot of the physical pain is a result of emotions that need to be processed. As they say, "I have to feel them in order to let them go." In order to do that, I need to find the acceptance first or I will stay stuck. Why hang onto things when it is so much better to let go of them. Not always easier, but definitely more condusive to serenity.  |
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Post by bunnypie on Oct 7, 2016 0:16:19 GMT -5
Every thing I have ever had to let go of has claw marks on it cause I can't/won't let go easy. Resignation & Acceptance are playing tug-o-war with me all the time. As Ringo Starr once said in a classic rock song "it don't come easy you know it don't come easy. got to pay your dues if you want to sing the blues and ya know it don't come easy" This is one of my theme songs!!!!----Bunnypie
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Post by majestyjo on Oct 7, 2016 2:14:53 GMT -5
You are right, if I don't let go I am left singing the blues. As a 9 year old told me about 22 years ago, "Haven't your learned yet that life isn't fair?" My recovery is about acceptance and lowering my expectations, of myself and of others.
I found if I am open with my doctor, he sends me for tests and blood work. It seems like if they take any more blood out, I will look like a pin cushion.
They do great things these days. I think it is a great idea that they are going to look inside and fix everything while they are in there. That would be so much better than having to go through surgery over and over again.
I don't know about you, but I abused my body for years. I also stayed in abusive marriages that were physically abusive, so what I didn't do, the ex-husbands did. What goes around comes around. I was told at 17 that I needed work done on my feet. I jumped off the grainery onto the second wood floor of our barn when I was 10. I was numb and couldn't move, then the pain passed and it was old news only to reoccur years later. What I put out, I get back. And as I was told, becareful what you ask for, you just might get it.
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Post by bunnypie on Oct 7, 2016 5:53:50 GMT -5
YOU are absolutely right!!! I have prayed for surgery and now they want to do WAY more then I expected or wanted!!! Be careful what you pray for you just might get it.....I guess I should change my name to Guienna Pig instead of Bunnypie?  !!!! (medical m.f. ers) |
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Post by majestyjo on Oct 7, 2016 8:05:41 GMT -5
Why are you upset that they are going to investigate to see that all is well? Do you not want to live? Cancer can do nasty things to your body and you have been through a lot of trauma the last few months. I would want them to do all they could to insure it doesn't come back, even if it meant taking out my gall bladder or appendix, which I don't have, but that is just an example. I would want them to scrape the bones and cut off any kind of tissue that looked like it may be threatened by that big C word.
For me, my C word is control. Unfortunately, I can't cut it out. My God has done wonders over the years, but I still like to know what is going on. I have been known to pray and ask, "Can't you give me a little hint, so we both will know."
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Post by majestyjo on Oct 7, 2016 8:08:18 GMT -5
Just for today, I will practice my program to the best of my ability. I will try to be the best me that I can be in today. I will say the Third and Seventh Step Prayers to help me get out of the way and allow my God to work through me, instead of having to work around me or inspite of me, He offers His Love and Grace.  |
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Post by bunnypie on Oct 7, 2016 13:48:18 GMT -5
JO!!!----you nailed it!!! The fear of the unknown and changing plans in the middle of a agreed on plan are very upsetting & anxiety inducing things for me......Baffled Bunnypie (don't understand why they would do this & YES I want a hint as to WHY? ) |
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Post by majestyjo on Oct 8, 2016 13:33:29 GMT -5
Just for today, I will be content and happy in today. I won't look for what is wrong but focus on what is right. I will look at what I have instead of looking at what I don't have. That doesn't mean that I don't want to win the lottery, although I seldom buy a ticket. I would like to win enough to move out of my apartment building, but then, wherever I go, I take me with me. Part of me doesn't want to move because I can still walk to the library and the market. I just don't feel safe any more around Hess Village and going out at night. It is something that I have been praying about, and if I am meant to be here, then that is okay. Again, acceptance is the key.  |
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Post by bunnypie on Oct 8, 2016 19:01:21 GMT -5
I think every where you go you have "good" neighborhoods and "bad" neighborhoods. You just have to be real careful and stay aware of what's going on.
I like to be near a grocery store, drug store, and gas station. I don't think I would be comfortable out in the middle of no where!!!
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Post by majestyjo on Oct 9, 2016 19:55:23 GMT -5
Just for today, I will accept what is in the moment. It is so important for me to stay in today, especially when it comes to my health issues and my son's active addiction. I am so grateful for the program. Just for today, I don't have to use, no matter what.  |
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Post by bunnypie on Oct 9, 2016 20:16:48 GMT -5
I am totally convinced that there is nothing that a drink or drug won't make worse!!! To me it is like throwing gasoline on a bonfire!!! I have had white knuckle sobriety (where your knuckles turn white from hanging on so hard) If I stay sober it will get better or at least not make it worse!
This is just as Bunnypie sees it...
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Post by majestyjo on Oct 10, 2016 23:57:37 GMT -5
Just for today, I will let go of the negative attitude. I won't shut down and isolate myself from others. When I am closed down, I block myself from my God as well as others.  |
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Post by bunnypie on Oct 11, 2016 2:26:38 GMT -5
Hi Jo---I have a former friend who is an isolation specialist with intimacy issues!!! He won't answer emails, phone calls, or door bells!!! It makes me crazy and hurts my feelings so much!!!! This is why I have given up on being friends and am just so hurt and disgusted. There is no reason to run and hide!!! He needs to grow a pair and face me so we can talk things out. He refuses so I have to just back off and give up! Communication is very important to keep a friendship going. When there isn't any then I just have to accept that they are a coward and don't want to have any closure...
Disgusted & Baffled-----Bunnypie
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Post by majestyjo on Oct 11, 2016 6:38:38 GMT -5
It is his stuff, don't take it on. As my sponsor use to tell me, divorce him. As a new online friend's counselor said, "Nothinged" the person, don't let them rent space in your head. You are the worst for wear and they don't give a hoot! The are getting free rent and you are getting heart broken. I can't, my God can. He is the Master Healer. It is closed when you say it is. You can write a letter and get your feelings out, burn it if need be. Clean your side of the street and make things right with your God.
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Post by majestyjo on Oct 11, 2016 6:43:37 GMT -5
Just for today, I will pray for what I need and ask that what I don't need be taken from me. I must take the Steps I need in today and leave the rest up to my God. He knows what is best for me. He knows what's in store for me. All I know is that I would like to make it to the library and the noon AA meeting if possible. In order to do that, I need to catch some more Zzzzzzs.  |
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Post by bunnypie on Oct 11, 2016 8:00:56 GMT -5
There is an old rock song by the Beach Boys called Help Me Rhonda and there is a line in it that says "help me get her outta my heart" This is a request I've made to God and even wrote it down and put it in my God Can. God Can help me get him out of my heart and head. It will happen in God's time NOT my time....Hope you got some sleep and can make your meeting.------Bunnypie
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Post by majestyjo on Oct 12, 2016 5:31:50 GMT -5
Didn't make the meeting yesterday because my alarm clock was broken. My son has set his alarm on his cell phone to call me to go to my chiropractor's appointment at 11:15 a.m.. If all goes well, I will be able to make my noon Al-Anon meeting.
Don't have a literal God Can in today. When I had the group Freedom of Recovery, I made them for members out of the empty coffee cans used at the meeting. People who came to the group said we had the best coffee in town. One guy said that he came for the coffee not the meeting. It was said with a smile on his face.
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Post by majestyjo on Oct 12, 2016 5:32:16 GMT -5
Just for today, I will allow my self hope. I found hope through the 12 Promises of AA. As the scriptures say, "My Hope is in the Lord." Not sure where it is said, I am just grateful I remember the words. Where there is life, there is hope. I had lost all hope, but I found that my God had plans for me. Part of those plans, was being here. Love these pictures with the scripture written on them. They are all lighthouse pictures. My God lights up my life to show me how to live in today.  |
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!!!! (medical m.f. ers)
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.