Welcome to EOR

[adagio]

Hi, this is adagio. It's been a while since I've been here too. Glad to see everybody and I plan to look in a lot.

Pat

[lildee]

Welcome back adagio, Hope to see a lot more of you !
Love & God Bless lildee

[caressa]

Welcome back, great to have you here. Look forward to hearing more from you.

[TxRainwater]

Hiya Cris from Texas.
Glad you are here!
I am also a texan, a lil sober alkie granny....hehe. Just take it one day at a time hon. The group seems a bit slow now, but I had lost 'touch' too for a bit and had to reactivate my membership this very early morning.
I am new to this town(just got moved) and am finding most of my 'comfort' from my old online sober buds right now. Slow getting back into meetings in a diff environment, altho I know AA is family anywhere I go.
Congrats on your major decision to stay sober and a BIG WELCOME to the site.
love and light,
Brenda

[Gramm4]

Hi. My name is Theresa and I'm new to this site. I'm also new to using a computer so bear with me. I've been in recovery for many years. Lately I rejoined a 12 step program and just recieved my 3 month pin. It really feels good to once again have support. I'm hoping to get involved with EOR and other sites and hopefully get to know others in recovery as time goes on.

[lildee]

Welcome Theresa,
Glad you found our site. Enjoy , explore and feel free to post . We all grow by sharing.

Love & God Bless
Lildee (Arlene)

[dg]

Welcome Theresa,
There are alot of good info here and recovery begins with you first. Congrats on your 3 month pin.
take care

[Lea]

Hello, I just stumbled upon your site and I am currently involved in a recovery program. I don't get a lot out of it but I'm hopping that this will also contribute to helping me throughout my recovery. I am a cocaine addict, I've been sober for seven months. I need a new set of friends and I hope I can meet some here
I look forward to reading all the helpful things others have to say. Thank you for your warm welcome

[caressa]

Welcome to EoR. Congratulations on seven months clean. Hope to get to know you better, feel free to share anywhere. A burden shared is one that is lessened.

[MrDuck]

Welcome Lea to the site and congradulations on 7 months.

Take care,

Ron

[Lin]

Way to go Criseg! Congrats on the 3 days!
Welcome to the site!
LIN

[lildee]

Dearest Lea
Welcome to the site. Hope to see a lot more of you . Will be forwarding info to you.
Love & God Bless
Arlene

[Lea]

Hello my name is Lea, this is my seventh month being clean of any cocaine. For some reason I have a craving for alcohol. Today has been a rough day but I refuse to give in.
Cross your fingers and say a a little prayer for me.
Thank you again for the warm welcome

[shelie]

Many people will be praying for you, Lea. Just remember how strong you are.
Shelie, webmaster

[tks]

Aloha. I just registered hoping someone can give me some concrete answers with regards to my 47 year old brother who is an alcoholic. Am I in the right place or can you tell me where to go?

Mahalo.

[lildee]

Welcome Tks,

You are in the right place. There is little that you can do for your brother unless he wants to recover. He must hit his own bottom and have the desire to recover. In Alanon we have something called the 3 C's.

I did not cause the alcoholism
I cannot control the alcoholic
I cannot cure it.

You are not responsible for your brother's alcoholism and you had nothing to do with its cause. There is little you personally can do to control the situation. And you can't cure this baffling disease alone.

This is where Alanon comes into play. It will help you understand the disease of alcohlism and it will give you the tools needed to live with an alcoholic.

Try to get to a meeting, get a sponsor, do some CAL reading. Then you will begin to understand this overwhelming disease and how it affects everyone in its path.

Below are some links you should find useful-

This is the official site for Alanon it has meetings listed (Yes even for Hawaii) There is also a section for Alanon literature.

www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html

Some suggeested books-

One Day at a Time
Courage to Change
Hope for Today
Paths to Recovery
Alanon's 12 Steps & 12 Traditions

Hope this gives you a start.

Love & God Bless
Arlene

[tks]

Thank you, Arlene. At this point I need some concrete answers not a support group. No offense to anyone, but it's like signing up for a calculus class to find out the students are teaching it. Just kidding, but I'll do the support thing when I find out what I should do for my brother whose care I'm taking over because my sis-in-law has already had one husband commit suicide because he was an alcoholic. So I'll move him in with me across country. He's done the zillion dollar rehab hospital thing and it's obvious he doesn't buy into any of this, including AA. So do I let him drink, do I not? Do I lock up everything so he doesn't steal from us? He almost died from withdrawal last summer so there's a medical problem. I love him dearly but my sis can't do anything she's so scared.

I would like ideas about how to run this probably drink till he dies thing in the best possible way.

I pray constantly about this.

Thanks,
Trudy

[Lin]

Hello Trudy. You have quite a dilemma on your hands. We dont actually like to offer "advice" in AlAnon. We offer our experience, strength and hope.

First of all in my experience my alcoholic when to 4 rehabds. One was 750 a day for 93 days. He's still not ready to totally stop. That has to be the case of you are jsut spinning your wheels. They have to hurt bad enough from their addiction to want it over. They ahve to suffer the consequences of their actions...beofre they hit their "botom". It sounds like your brother is not at that point yet.

I applaud you for wanting to move in with him and take care of him. Keep in mind...worrying abotu his drinking will eventually take a toll on you, and a support group such as alanon will be your salvation./ Even if you go jsut once and get one of the books Lildee posted...it will be a big help to you.

In my experience when I tried to control how much he drank by not buying it, pouring it out, hiding it, drinking with him, giving him only enough money for lunch...he ALWAYS found a way to get it when he wanted it.

With my dad he never quit. He drank until it killed him. He was only 56 when he died and it was a terrible way to die. I watched him have liver failure, go in and out of comas, sweel all over where they6 ahd to tap his belly often and drain 7 to 8 units of fluid..i watched his legs swell up so bad they split open and drained. His skin and eyes turned yellow. It was tough to watch. But tht was our only choice. we literally watched him drink himself into his grave. WWith my husband i tried everything I could to get him to stop, but nothing has worked yet. I have tried 37 years. The best rehab lasted 2 years, but after that he's had multiple relapses.

So what can you do? You can support him in his efforts to stop. You can pray for him. You can be there when he's ready to stop. And you can also watch him slowly kill himself. Other than that, jsut avoiding any steps you can that are :"enabling" him to stay longer in his disease.

I wish had a magic answer...but that's about it.

Keep coming back. Knowledge is power. Read what you can about addictions and it will help you understand how cunning, baffling and powerful it all is.

LINDA

[kpv]

Hi. I'm also new to this group and have been reading the daily readings for a while which I highly recommend to other new members (and all members). Thank you Arlene for posting those. They are wonderful and help keep me focussed.

My story is the same as many. Just a different variation. Married to an alcoholic for 20 years. Although he did get sober in the first few years of our marriage he was basically on a dry drunk for the remaining years.

I am regularly attending Alanon meetings again (my third time back) and generally when you attend you are reminded that often we who live with the problem of alcholism are just as sick or sicker than our alcoholic.

I am currently living with our 17-year-old daughter who I try to control, obsess over and worry about constantly. I am attending Alanon to fix ME, not her or anyone else I am powerless over. I feel this will be a long process but I am slowly heading in the right direction. I am trying to embrace the acceptance, courage and wisdom concepts every day.

Anyhow, I look forward to "talking" to all of you and learning from your experience, strength and hope. Thank you for being here!

--Kathy

[Lin]

Good to hear from you kathy. It's great the readings are helping.. I bought me a book at my first meeting adn I cant imagine how hany times readings from those books in the middle of the night have helped me calm down enough to get some rest.

Keep coming back!
LIN