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Post by ~graced~ on Sept 4, 2004 8:36:27 GMT -5
I'm curious where everyone is, dangit..LOL
Mostly, I'm a bit concerned cuz we've not heard from KnotHead in a few.
So could folks please check in? Wave at least? LOL
*waving*
I'm here!
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Post by Teiger on Sept 4, 2004 9:51:32 GMT -5
Teiger here, reporting for duty!
Love,
Karen
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Post by little726 on Sept 4, 2004 12:19:08 GMT -5
Robin here, in beautiful soutwestern NEW YORK.. Have a GREAT weekend, everyone  |
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Post by Tiger on Sept 4, 2004 12:23:01 GMT -5
Hi Graced,
Still "muddling through" a day at a time *sober*
Tiger
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Post by lildee on Sept 4, 2004 19:56:02 GMT -5
Saying Hi from across the hall.
Arlene
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Post by Baritone on Sept 4, 2004 20:20:29 GMT -5
Saying hi from both sides of the hall, ;D
- Jim
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Post by bluidkiti on Sept 4, 2004 20:53:56 GMT -5
Hey - I am here! |
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Post by dg on Sept 4, 2004 21:49:33 GMT -5
Hear hear from across the hall... |
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Post by knothead on Sept 4, 2004 22:57:01 GMT -5
I'm curious where everyone is, dangit..LOL Mostly, I'm a bit concerned cuz we've not heard from KnotHead in a few. So could folks please check in? Wave at least? LOL *waving* I'm here! Yup, da KnotHead's here . . . maybe just barely (hanging my proverberbial teeth!!!). A song for my Dis-Ease: "I'll get over you I Know I will; I'll pretend my ship's Not sinking . . . 'Cause I'm the King of Wishful thinking." WAT a load of crap I sold myself over the years!!!  The only way to get rid of the burden is to LIVE the steps, daggnabbit!!!! Nothing postive ever occurs in a vacuum. I can no more wish the crap I've made in my own life to simply vanish, than I can wish Peace & Serenity on the Middle East, *JUST BECAUSE I SAID SO.* The 12 steps, as laid out to us, are quite simple for the "average" person (whatever that is). Ya see, I'm different, for some F'N reason. I don't know the exact what, why, or how. Just trust me. I am different. Excuses, ad infitum. To not work the the forth step the way my sponsor suggested after I kind of muddled through the first time. My disease doesn't want me to face the truth, though I am sick of my disease telling me what to do. It makes zero sense to look back at what I am typing right now, other than I think maybe a few of you can perhaps relate, somehow. |
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Post by ChrisK on Sept 4, 2004 23:28:37 GMT -5
I'M THINKING CINNAMON ROLL!!!!! OOPS I LOVE THAT SONG BTW WISHFUL THINKING. HOPE EVERYONE HAS A SAFE WEEKEND  LOVE CHRIS |
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Post by ~graced~ on Sept 5, 2004 7:21:43 GMT -5
WAY cool! ;D I'm glad folks are checking in! Anyone heard from Owen or Brenda or Colin or Cap? And where's The Duck!? Gosh, I'm a nosy person...LOL *still waving* Umm...that's cuz I'm still here...LOL (((((((((KnotHead)))))))))) I'm really, REALLY glad you checked in! BOY do I relate! But do tell, what's the worst thing that'll happen if you simply follow the sponsor's suggestion as given? |
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Post by knothead on Sept 7, 2004 2:05:05 GMT -5
WAY cool! ;D I'm glad folks are checking in! Anyone heard from Owen or Brenda or Colin or Cap? And where's The Duck!? Gosh, I'm a nosy person...LOL *still waving* Umm...that's cuz I'm still here...LOL (((((((((KnotHead)))))))))) I'm really, REALLY glad you checked in! BOY do I relate! But do tell, what's the worst thing that'll happen if you simply follow the sponsor's suggestion as given? I may find out that i'm not as unique as I think; that plenty others such as myself have gone through as much and/or more in their drinking/using careers. Actually, the worst of it is having to own up to my own failures. My best thinking got me to where I am today. Owning up to myself, to my HP, and to another individual seems easy enough on paper. In practice, it is difficult - only insofar as my willingness allows. You see, we (my siblings and I) were inculcated at an early age not to air "dirty laundry" in public or even to anyone outside of the immediate family. However, I realize that as a sickness of its' own, probably orginating with my grandparents, if not before (several generations). It comes down to my own persoanl fear of being stripped away of all my disguises & pretenses & allowing someone else to see me for who I truly am, right now. The fear is not so much non-acceptance as a human being. But non-acceptance (maybe) of what I have done before (not that it was all *that* bad - I mean, I never commited a felony). I was given so much growing up. I had wondeful middle-class parents that went to the PTA meetings, sent me & my brother to the Scouts, etc. Gave me the opportunity for a college education. What did I do with it? I rebelled. Why? I have no idea. I squandered nearly every opportunity presented to me almost on a proverbial platter. Wasn't born with any silver sthingy, but still. My parents both worked hard to provide for the family. I have hated myself for far too long for what I have become. Giving myself a break is long overdue. And this best break I can give myself is to be willing to follow simple directions from someone that has been in program far longer than myself (my sponsor). The forth step (as a list!) is as complete as I can do it as of now. I feel comfortable with it. I will call my sponsor tomorrow & let him know. H-onesty O-pen-Mindness W-illingness G-ood O-derly D-irection W-ork the steps O-n-going R-eflecting that K-nowing the S-teps is only half the answer. Peace, Love & Humility. |
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Post by ~graced~ on Sept 7, 2004 8:50:01 GMT -5
"It comes down to my own persoanl fear of being stripped away of all my disguises & pretenses & allowing someone else to see me for who I truly am, right now." Dare I say that, in my humble opinion, you don't have a freaking clue "who I truly AM, right now". Cuz you seem to be a whole lot like a whole lot of us--convinced that we ARE what we do. You ARE G-d's Child. Just in case you wanna admit not knowing who the heck you are. There you have it. See, it's that darn simple. I was knocked off my feet when some wiseperson told me that--couldn't embrace it.........too angry with the G-d of my faulty understanding and I just KNEW He couldn't possibly (given the natures of my failings, what I'd DONE with this life) love ME. GOOD on you to have followed the directions, KnotHead. Call the sponsor--get together with him and review the list. BTW.........you're loved exactly as you are. G-d'll do that without your permission......LOL So will I. |
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Post by knothead on Sept 8, 2004 0:11:34 GMT -5
"It comes down to my own persoanl fear of being stripped away of all my disguises & pretenses & allowing someone else to see me for who I truly am, right now." Dare I say that, in my humble opinion, you don't have a freaking clue "who I truly AM, right now". Cuz you seem to be a whole lot like a whole lot of us--convinced that we ARE what we do. Ouch. I wuz rebuked!!!!!!! Thanks so much!!!! That needed to be said. Nope, I don't really know who I am right now. But I am learning, ever so slowly.  I want the miracle to happen overnight (if not before), though I know it doesn't work that way. I want what I want when I want it, dammit!!!!! I - like most in the program - am "fear-driven." That is the fundemental discovery I have made about moi. "A thousand forms" as it tells us in the "big book." Because I have believed that G*d couldn't possibly forgive me for certain transgressions, I have ultimately become my own "god." Because I was really denying the ability of something greater than myself to relieve me of the same. Who am I to say that am bigger than God?  I suppose that really is the bottom line right now. Discovery of the spiritual side is an on-going process. Thanks so much for your response. Seriously. I needed that. |
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Post by ~graced~ on Sept 8, 2004 18:55:50 GMT -5
"Because I have believed that G*d couldn't possibly forgive me for certain transgressions" Boy....have you lived in my head anytime in the past? LOL Just had to ask that one--cuz I was convinced that G-d certainly couldn't forgive my wrong doings as well. Gives ya a pretty good picture of how weak I thought G-d was--cuz I was also convinced that I COULD forgive others who'd done the 'crimes' I'd done. *sigh* Yep, I had a weak G-d of my faulty thinking. At best, if He wasn't weak, He was picky...LOL He didn't LIKE me so wouldn't get around to forgiving me? But Joe Schmoe, He LIKED and would forgive! (I argued that one as well......) "If that's what you truly believe G-d would do...." Well, no, I just truly believed He'd do that with ME......not other people! "If that's what you truly believe G-d would do...." FINE! Geeze....LOL SOME people just challenge the by jeepers outta everything, huh? Are you SURE you didn't live in my head once upon a time? ((((((((((KnotHead))))))))))) I too, thought I was more forgiving than G-d was. I didn't toss lightening bolts on people or curse them with some plague, for goodness sakes! Aren't I good?! But that faulty thinking gave me a run for the money when it came to embracing that G-d loved me and that I was His child....as are all the rest of us. I was reminded that it was the G-d of MY understanding, not the G-d of religious upbringings and beaten in beliefs. I had to let go of some seriously ingrained beliefs that I twisted into what I THOUGHT people were pushing at me. Years back I went to a temple service with a Rabbi whom I thought was one of THE most rigid, fire and brimstone, by the book kinda guys. I almost didn't attend cuz he was leading the service. Good thing I stayed! That guy had changed a whole LOT! He actually talked a lot about G-d's grace! I thanked him after the service and told him how impressed I was with his spiritual growth. He told me perhaps he'd not changed his sermon--perhaps it was how I was listening to it that had changed. Point well taken. I tend to hear whatever validates what I believe is right. Even if I don't like it and believe it to be wrong, it's still what I hear. Cuz, frankly, I liked being 'right' sometimes more than I wanted to be happy. So.....did ya ring the sponsor to review the list? *chuckling* And I wasn't rebuking ya.....I was 'challenging the statement' and it was merely my humble opinion. ;D *HUGE hugs* ~~graced~~ |
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Post by mender1 on Sept 12, 2004 10:16:28 GMT -5
I am here a little more crazy since My granddaughter has come to live with me.
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Post by knothead on Sept 16, 2004 1:43:44 GMT -5
{{{{{{{{~graced~}}}}}}}}} "Birds of a feather . . . ." as the old saying goes. Jeepers!!! You give me the creeps sometimes!!! (And I mean that in a good way!!!!!!!!!!!). Seriously. It is truly unreal how much one alcoholic can have in common with another, even though we probably have nothing else in common. That is indeed the beauty of this program, as I have obsevered it over the years, coming & going back out. The insidious behavior patterns, the perfectionist attitudes, the "wanting-what-we-now" syndrome, etc. Shared experiences. Man, wuz Bill W. & Dr. Bob ahead of their time, or what? But to answer your question about me contacting my sponsor, I did, but he had to go on trip to see his first grandchild get married beforehand. So, we have it set up for as soon as gets back from Louisianna (God, I hope he makes it back okay). Ivan, go away, post haste!!!!!!!!! |
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Post by ~graced~ on Sept 16, 2004 6:34:17 GMT -5
I am here a little more crazy since My granddaughter has come to live with me. (((((((((((((Owen))))))))))))))) You're in my thoughts. |
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Post by ~graced~ on Sept 16, 2004 6:36:38 GMT -5
So, we have it set up for as soon as gets back from Louisianna (God, I hope he makes it back okay). Ivan, go away, post haste!!!!!!!!! *hugs* Here's hoping he travels safely and stays in a port of calm during the storm. Good on you to have it ready, set, go for when he returns! And yep....Bill and Bob were pretty enlightened folks. |
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Post by TxRainwater on Sept 18, 2004 15:41:23 GMT -5
Brenda checkin in..........still sober and into more service work. Stayin busy in the program.
Life is good today, I don't care what the world says...hehehe
I can have peace and serenity in the midst of chaos and not get 'blown away' by it.
Knothead, honey, I am different too, just like all the other alkies.....thought everyone could see that I was 'special' lol Keep coming back!
I do apologize for not being around more, but all is well.
Good to see you all!
Think I will keep coming back myself!
love and light,
Brenda
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~With Peace & Love, dg~ 8*)[/b][/size]
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.